May was mental health awareness month. You might find it odd that I share this blog the day after mental health awareness month, but there’s a reason. I write this blog as a reminder. A reminder of the past, the present, and for you to understand the importance of your future.
Yesterday was Memorial Day. 5/31 marked the 100-year anniversary of the Tulsa massacre. The lives that were lost in battle and in the town of Greenwood matter. The mental health of soldiers and their family’s matter. The mental health of those affected by trauma directly or indirectly matters. Your mental health matters.
As we move into June, you likely can recall receiving a few emails, or seeing social media posts, and other online content regarding mental health in the beginning of May; but you likely noticed that the discussion on mental health over the last week or 2 declined.
This blog is to remind you that mental health matters every day. The mental health of your friends and loved one’s is important. Psychological health affects physical health. When you’re sad, anxious, worried, or overwhelmed, you don’t have clarity. You don’t know what wait to turn or what action is best.
When your mental health declines your physical health declines. You began to have physical pain and symptoms secondary to your psychological health.
This blog is a call for action. I am telling you to prioritize your wellness. There is nothing worth your health. No job, no charity, and no person who truly values you, will want you to suffer. Speak up. Ask for help. Use your company benefits, insurance, and free services to help pull yourself up.
I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and it’s the best thing I could have ever done for myself. My therapist has helped me change my life. Friend, I used to be in dark place, a place I never I want to return to. I would be sad and alone and cry, but I pulled it together before my kiddo or my hubby saw me. I felt I had to be strong and get “it” done, and you know what I did.
I was strong. I took care of business. I did all the things for all the people, except me. I smiled, I excelled, I worked, I went to school, opened a business, and I cared my family. I was the friend that everyone came to with their problem’s, but I didn’t feel I could off load my stuff to anyone else. It wasn’t until I began to think my sadness could effect my family that I sought out help.
When I met my therapist, she asked me what gives me joy and when was the last time I was happy. I sat there for a moment and then I just started to cry. The moment that came to mind was the summer before we got pregnant. I remembered so much joy, freedom, and fulfillment. I told her, “I want that….I want that type of joy again. I want to be free. I want to be happy.” During that time in my life, I wasn’t working 60-80 hours a week, I wasn’t in school, I wasn’t taking care of everyone else all the time (work, home, business, etc). It was a time where I had less on my shoulders. I was able to rest.
I have an amazing husband and the most loving daughter that when I shared the last time that I was happy, I felt bad. I felt guilty. I thought my feelings were that of a bad mother and wife. My therapist told me that I wasn’t a bad wife or mother. She helped me identify burnout. You would think after years of researching burnout, I could see it in myself…but I couldn’t. I was so deep into that I wasn’t able to see the signs in myself.
My therapist also helped me identify high functioning depression. I am not ashamed of depression. I am not ashamed to say I have had hard days and dark days and that I survived them. I am so much better because of therapy. I give credit to therapy, yoga, boundaries coaching, and prayer to be where I am today.
Folx that don’t understand mental health, trauma, or their impact can’t process why some people feel that they can’t go on. Prayer isn’t the only avenue to health.
As a person of color, I didn’t grow up with people talking about mental health or trauma. But now, I look at my nieces and nephews and Gen Z and I am so thankful that we are speaking up about the importance of total health (mental, physical, and spiritual).
I share my story in the hopes, that you remember the importance of your mental health. Every day you wake up, check in with yourself. How are your thoughts? How is your energy? How do you feel inside and out?
World renowned tennis player, Naomi Osaka chose to withdraw from the French Open for her own well-being. Her commitment to protecting herself is something to be supported and encouraged all around the world.
When you are deciding on what path to take and what is important to you, remember this, if it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no.
If you battle mental disease processes, remember that you are not alone. We are here together. Choose rest. Start saying no. Know your triggers. Empower yourself in whatever manner you need to.
You get one life and you deserve to live it with peace and joy.
If you’re reading this and you have a friend or colleague who experiences mental health trials, don’t judge. Listen. Be present. Love. Provide support or give resources that help. That’s what real friends do.
Mental health matters 24-7, 365 days a year.
Do not leave mental health in May. Whatever tools, strategies, or tips you have absorbed during May take it with you into June, July, August, and so on.
I will leave you with a few online resources for yourself or that you can share with a loved one.
Resources for mental health support:
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Therapy For Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
Injured Veterans or Veterans with PTSD: www.vetcetner.va/gov
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.afsp.org
Postpartum Progress: www.postpartumprogress.com
Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: www.dbsalliance.org
