Are You in Crisis? Is Everything Okay?

I bet those questions got your attention. They were meant to. Earlier this week, I told my spouse that I needed to schedule a session with my therapist. The first thing he said was, “is everything okay.” I responded, “yes, I’m good.” I went on to tell him that therapy isn’t only for when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or at your breaking point (AKA crisis).

Therapy is health maintenance. Therapy is prevention. Therapy gives you/me/us an opportunity to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with an unbiased individual. Therapy as maintenance allows for ongoing reflection and introspection.

I don’t know about you, but I have family, friends, and associates who think that you only go to MDs/NPs/PAs, Dentists, Physical Therapists, Psychotherapists, etc when you’re having a problem. This thought process needs to change. If we want to “be well” and age gracefully we must take care of ourselves prophylactically.

Think about your car. Do you only go to the auto shop when your car starts smoking or making a funny noise? My hope is that your answer is no. You go to the auto shop for an oil change, tire rotation and balance, brake fluid flush, etc.

You want your car to be in excellent condition so that you can get to the places you need and want to go to. You know that car repairs can be expensive. Instead of waiting until an emergency occurs, you take small steps to maintain the “health” of your vehicle.

The same way you take care of your car, you must take care of yourself.

Go to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning, X-rays/assessment, etc. Go to your healthcare provider annually for a physical/labs. If you have a medical diagnosis, follow your healthcare providers recommendations on the frequency of reassessments.

Friend don’t wait until you have mouth pain or you’re experiencing daily headaches/vomiting/numbness for months to be evaluated. The longer you wait, symptoms become more severe and treatment more expensive.

Go to the physical therapist for health maintenance, strengthening, and prevention. Mama’s go to PT for pelvic floor issues and diastasis recti concerns. Mama’s you can schedule PT during pregnancy not only after.

I digress. You get it. You understand.

Preventative care is wellness. Preventative care is health. Don’t worry what your co-workers, family, or friends might say. Prioritize your health and wellness. Prioritize you.

If you’re searching for medical providers and cost is a barrier, check out income based or sliding scaled clinics in your area.

Dental schools offer treatment at low cost where students provide supervised treatment. Better Help and Talkspace are some options for budget friendly mental healthcare. Some PTs also offer a sliding scale option to receive treatment.

Lastly some community healthcare clinics offer a variety of services in house based on income. This allows a “one stop shop” approach for overall health maintenance and prevention.

Don’t allow other people to be a barrier to you caring yourself. Educate yourself on resources and available options so you can live a long, happy, and healthy life.

Be Well.

Fall Is for Self-Care

Fall has officially arrived. The weather is changing, and more people are navigating a self-care path. Self-care looks different for each person. Self-care is a practice of taking an action that impacts your overall well-being. Self-care is an act of love towards you. Self-care empowers, uplifts, and restores. Self-care heals.

What actionable steps can you take to implement a daily self-care practice? Maybe, your mind is blank, you’re frozen, and have no idea what you can do. Perhaps you’re thinking, self-care sounds good, but your life commitments do not provide opportunities for self-care. It’s okay friend, you are not alone in these thoughts.

Relax your shoulders from your ears. Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try it again, deep inhale and let it go. Repeat these cleansing breaths as many times as you need. Intentional breathwork is self-care.

Most of the readers of my blog are women. But there are some gentlemen who also connect with the words that I share.

Men and women need self-care. Self-care is not gender specific. Self-care is a basic requirement of life to function. If you do not care for yourself, you cannot care for other people. An individual who consistently gives without refilling their storehouse, or their “gas tank” if you will, eventually empties their reserves. When the reserves are empty, the body slows down and a variety of symptoms begin to occur.

If you drive a car and do not put any additional fuel in the tank or if you have an electric, if you don’t charge it, the car won’t start; the car won’t move forward. The same way you put gas in your car or charge your car, you need to fuel yourself.

It is imperative that YOU consistently take care of you. You are important. Your needs and wants are important. On an airplane, the flight attendants say put on your oxygen mask and then help someone. This statement is referring to helping yourself before your children or the older adult sitting next to you.

Think about it, how can you help your child if you can’t breathe? You’re no good to them if you can’t breathe. You can’t take care of them or help them, if you aren’t well.

I’m part of a mom’s group and have shared many times the necessity of caring for self. Mom’s frequently mention feeling guilt and shame around the topic of self-care. There is nothing shameful about being good to yourself. If you’re good to you, you can be great for others.

My friend and former colleague, Geremy Wooten is my 4am self-care partner. For years I had the hardest time waking up early for meditation and movement. During Covid, that finally changed, and I haven’t looked back. Waking up at 4am is my sacred time. I ease into my day with prayer and meditation, followed by some type of movement. These 3 actions set the foundation for my day, my mindset, and my attitude. Whenever I miss my morning ritual, the day is off. My energy is off. Heck even my jovial personality is altered.

Geremy (G) and I join each other for Peloton rides and send each other encouraging words to continue our wellness journey. G is an example that self-care starts at home. He exercises and supports his wife in her health journey. G shows his children that men not only provide financially for their homes but also emotionally. He is currently coaching his daughter in track. Being present for himself gives G the ability to be fully present with his family.

Sharing a little bit of Geremy’s story is just 1 example of self-care. To learn more about G, head over to Instagram and follow him @mindfullywoo.

Friend, you do not have to wake at 4am to take care of yourself. You don’t have to run or cycle to take care of you. But you MUST do something. If you have no clue where to start, below are 10 no cost/low-cost options for self-care this fall.

1.     Sit on your porch or in your favorite location and savor a warm drink.

2.     Take a walk in your neighborhood and notice the changing colors of the leaves.

3.     Sing and/or dance to your favorite music.

4.     Spend 5 minutes journaling.

5.     Bake your favorite fall treat.

6.     15 minutes of mindful movement.

7.     Set and maintain boundaries.

8.     Ask for help.

9.     Take a nap.

10.  Breathe.

Review the list and pick 1 thing to try to complete every day.

Self-care isn’t selfish. Self-care is self-preservation.

Where Have You Been?

Where have you been? Are you okay? What have you been up to? These are the questions I’ve received in my email and private messages. I thank you all for checking in and sharing how you’ve missed the blogs and our Tea Time gatherings. Outside of posting my day-to-day life on my IG stories, I haven’t been sharing in depth content on any platforms.

Y’all, I haven’t written a blog in 19 months or uploaded a YouTube video in 2 years. Time moves swiftly. I think time started going faster after becoming a mother. If you’re a parent, sit with that a moment……Do you think life began to “fly by” after your babies were born?

Anywho, I have to say it’s been peaceful and stress FREE not having to write or record. I haven’t been checking statistics or caring about the algorithm. Friends, I’ve been living and loving and delving into joy. It has felt sooooooo GOOD not to care or worry or focus on the internet or who followed or unsubscribed from my content.

Have I missed you all? Yes. Am I back for good? I hope so (insert shrug).

So what have I been up? I moved my yoga studio, accepted a new job, traveled for work and personal enjoyment, and doubled down on my wellness (physical, mental, and financial).

I’m trying to decide, should I write all the things in this 1 blog, summarize, or make some vlogs.

Research has shown that people (not you..lol), have short attention spans (thank you Covid and social media) and don’t like to read. Therefore audio or combination of audio and video are the preference. Due to this I am going to film some vlogs on these topics and load them to YouTube. Look for these in the coming weeks.

For now, here’s the summary:

1. The building my yoga studio was housed in was sold and we had to either close the doors permanently or find a new space. As you know, we found a new space and are rocking and rolling (thank you Lord).

2. For the last 2.5 years I have worked PRN as an NP. In the summer of 2023 I accepted a full-time NP position that is flexible and impactful. It is what worked best for my family and my purse (financial freedom).

3. Mexico, California, Utah, Colorado, and Florida are a few of the places I have traveled. I’m looking forward to catching more flights as I’ve already caught feelings for Shug (married 13 years as of August).

4. Holistic health and wellness is a priority for me and hopefully for you. I have been nourishing my body and mind by moving for at least 15 minutes every day, consuming fruits and vegetables, and reading/listening to inspirational podcasts and books. In the realm of holistic wellness, I have started budgeting and implementing the cash envelope system. Life changes for the better, when you’re energized, nourished, and when your wallet/accounts have more breathing room.

Hopefully, you’re still reading and are willing to be a part of a holistic wellness community.

I’m planning to share weekly (fingers crossed) videos on YouTube on all things health/wellness (product reviews included), and financial wholeness on my channel. A new video will be uploaded today, so please subscribe to the channel if these topics interest you. Also, I will continue to share the day-to-day of life on Instagram and maybe I’ll cross share to TikTok. No commitments to IG/TikTok, because social media stress/pressure isn’t something I want or need.

Thank you for welcoming me back into your emails and I look forward to sharing more with you.

Go be great!

Health Is Wealth

2022 has arrived, the world is still crazy, and we are all just trying to keep our heads above water. I’m sure that with the new year, you are inundated with emails, commercials, and social media posts on weight loss, “detoxing,” clean eating, and “new year, new me” statements. Every year thousands of people make resolutions to change or make steps in a new direction.

Instead of resolving to do something, set an intention, or choose a word to guide your year. For 2022 my word of the year is possibility. In September 2021 I embarked on a program called 75 Hard.

My dear friend Nicole, owner of Crumbles by Nicole shared this program with me. Let me tell you about it. 75 Hard is 75 consecutive days of two 45 minute workouts (1 is supposed to be outside), a diet of your choice (I’m not a fan of dieting so I chose a healthy pescatarian nutrition plan), reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book, absence of alcohol consumption, no cheat meals, drink a gallon of water, and take a progress picture.

I chose 75 hard because I was in a “rut” with my nutrition. I was eating KitKats and kettle cooked chips 5 out of 7 days a week, eating unbalanced meals (or not eating), and my blood pressure was elevated (systolic 130s) at 2 separate doctor’s appointments. It was at my second appointment that I said I had to do something. Hypertension is hereditary in my family as it is for many other black and brown people. My parents have high blood pressure and my grandparents had it. At the time of my doctor’s appointment I knew that I could not continue on the salty and sweet path that led to taking antihypertensives. I did not want to take medication, nor did I want the repercussions of prolonged high blood pressure (headache, fatigue, dizziness, kidney disease, etc).

As a healthcare and wellness provider I believe in being an example to my patients and to my yoga students. I knew that I couldn’t out exercise a poor diet and had to take purposeful action for me to be well.

Nicole and I were at a local park walking when she told me about 75 Hard. I researched the program and made the decision to take back control of my life. You’re probably wondering was the program difficult; 1-word answer: yes. Although it was hard, the program was doable. The hardest part was making time for a second workout. After the first month things got easier. I mentally and physically felt better with more clarity and self-awareness. As a bonus I lost 14 pounds and my blood pressure decreased 20 points (now systolic 115). 

I coasted through the holidays and got sick at the first of the year. As I was recovering, I received some news about the healthcare of one my family members. I was informed that my loved one received a new diagnosis which is thought to be related to uncontrolled hypertension. This was confirmation that prioritizing physical and mental health is a requirement. There is nothing worth a decline in your health.

Health is wealth. There is no price one can place on health. I spoke with my family member for about 45 minutes regarding their diagnosis, treatment plan, and non pharmacological options. We discussed mindset and I shared my word of the year; “possibility.” What is possible when you choose to be intentional? How can your life change for the better?

Friend don’t resolve to be healthy, or to lose 20 pounds, or to sleep 8 hours a night. Instead be intentional, be purposeful with your wellness and self-care. Mental, physical, and spiritual health equals wealth.

If you need a little more self-care, a reduction in your stress, and relaxation join me for a livestream 30-minute stretch and restorative yoga class. Self-care, health, and wellness are your birthright. Make time to prioritize your health.

The first stretch, de-stress, and rest class for working women and mothers was on 1/16/2022. I am offering a second class on Sunday, 1/23/2022 at 8:30pm. Let this class be one of the intentional actions you take to improve your wellness. You deserve to have 30 minutes to focus on you.

Declutter Your Life

Clutter is real. Clutter occurs in your home, at work, in relationships, and in your mind. Over the course of 2021 my spouse and I started decluttering and minimizing. If we are Instagram friends, you likely saw my stories and my lives on clutter and chaos.

We are almost 1 week into a new year, and I thought it would be a good idea to share decluttering and the art of minimizing here on my blog.

Clutter is excess stuff or even people that lead to chaos, feelings of overwhelm/anxiety, or limitations. Examples include items in your home or office, the “junk drawer,” owning 30 pairs of jeans but you only wear 3, an attic or garage full of items that you never use, “knickknacks,” and more.

If you aren’t careful clutter can turn to hoarding. Let’s just rebuke the thought of chaos and clutter becoming hoarding. Ain’t nobody got time for hoarding during a pandemic; we are trying to maintain our peace and live our best life, right.

Okay so let’s get back to it. Any object or person that does not add value to your life can be considered clutter. I know, I know, I said people can be clutter. I said it, because it is true. There are people in your life who hold you back, make you feel less than, and are downright discouraging. Friend those are not your people. They are chaos, they are clutter; just like all that stuff in your kitchen junk drawer.  Those people you have to cut ties with and love from a distance.

Last year I had been feeling like I wanted to literally “throw the whole house away.” Crazy, I know, but my family I had so much stuff, that I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and I became anxious looking at everything that we didn’t use but continued taking up space in our home and in my mind.

As I worked through the anxiety of the stuff and wanting to literally “get rid” of my house I told my therapist about what I was going through and she said, “Stephanie what are you going to do about it.” It was then that I took action. I started clearing out my closet. I was holding on to pants and shoes and clothes that I hadn’t worn in 2 or more years. Why was I keeping that stuff? It was a waste of space and I cleared it out. I packaged up clothes, bags, shoes, and books in my closet to give away.

I went through my folded clothes and gave things away. I gave away brand new items with tags still on them. I had no reason to keep them. My thought was, why not bless someone else. There are plenty of people who need these items and I gave them away.

I didn’t have the energy for a yard sale or to place them on Facebook marketplace on Craig’s list. Now if you have time and energy to sell your stuff and make some money go for it. Otherwise give away the quality items and throw away the crap. 

If you are starting your decluttering journey be in integrity. Do not give away or donate something that you would not want to receive yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Off my moral soap box and back at it. After I cleared out my stuff, I went through my kitchen drawers and cabinets, our storage shed, and my daughter’s clothes, toys, and books. With a 5-year old it was little challenging for her to give away her things. We talked about blessing others and I shared with her how when she gives her toys to other children, she is helping them grow and learn and have fun when otherwise the little girls and boys wouldn’t have anything to play or learn with. Explaining it simply made it easier for my daughter to give things away and of course I let her choose what to give away. Allowing your child autonomy, empowers them and sets the groundwork for leadership. 

As I was working through decluttering, I read two books that were beneficial in minimizing and in communicating the benefits of living life rather than accumulating more things. If you’re interested check out “The More Of Less” by Joshua Becker and “The Afrominimalist’s Guide To Living With Less” by Christine Platt.  Over the course of 6 months I repeatedly told my husband I don’t want anything or need anything.

I told my family and friends not to buy me stuff because there wasn’t any object or thing that I needed or wanted. Lived experiences mean more to me than things. It took a little work but as I continued to voice to my husband that we still had too much stuff in our house, he began to see what I meant.

In November, my hubby jumped on board with decluttering. He cleared out his closet first. He then moved to our billiards room, the kitchen, our mud room, his workshop, our pool area, and our attic. In December 2021 we rented a dumpster and literally the house away. We went out of town for the holiday and returned to a spacious home with less stuff and more love.

Friend it feels so nice to have less. Less stuff to clean, dust, and pick up. I have more breathing room. More time to do stuff and more freedom to move.

If you are wanting to declutter and live free here are 5 tips to start.

1. Your journey to decluttering and minimizing is your own. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

2. Start small-what is the least anxiety invoking (junk drawer, hall closet, knickknacks). Small wins lead to consistency with letting things go.

3. Share your why with your significant other or housemates, but don’t push them to join you.

4. If you haven’t used the item in 1 year, let it go.

5. Make keep, sale, trash, and give away piles and limit the keep to a certain number if possible.

I am not a decluttering or minimizing guru by any means. However, I do know what peace, space, and opportunity yields when you let go of what does not serve you.

As you start 2022, let your attention be focused on living and loving rather than holding on to stuff or buying more things.

Why Not You?

 Why Me or Why Not Me? Do you ever ask these questions to yourself?

In my blogs, I like to keep it real. I shoot from the hip. So, here is a little background, I used to be a “Why me, Lord” type of person. I used to think to myself, “I’m a good person, I work hard, I love hard; why does this have to happen to me. Why can’t I catch a break?” Now, I know I’m not the first person and I won’t be the last person to have these thoughts. 

It’s normal. I’m human. You’re human. We have varying emotions.

Through committing to self-study, meditation, and prayer, I have been able to change my thought patterns. Rather than “Why me” when hard things occur, I say “Why not me.” 

Hard times are part of life. Your outlook and attitude determine the impact that difficult circumstances have on your mind, body, and spirit. Your thoughts are powerful. Your words are powerful. What are you speaking quietly to yourself? How can you transition your thoughts from uncertainty or negativity to hope, prosperity, and assuredness?

Are you able to embrace the words, “Why not me?” If you’re a person of faith, when rough patches arise, remember the song, “Trouble don’t last always.” Growing up in the black church, I remember the choir singing this song on Sunday mornings.

Rev. Timothy Wright, had it right when he sang, “He may not come when you want him, but he’s on time. In times of trouble, I found him to be a friend of mine. In time storm clouds rise, he’ll be there. All your burdens, I know the Lord will help you to bear. I’m so glad, trouble don’t last always.”

I didn’t receive or fully process these words until I was a teenager. Now as an adult, the lyrics mean even more. I have seen my share of “trouble.” Friend I’m here to say, that the trouble doesn’t last always. I appreciate the hard times in my career, in my relationships, and with my health. Those hard times have taught me strength, tenacity, and appreciation for every day God gives me. I am so much stronger and wiser for all the “ish” I have experienced.

The trouble has taught me resiliency and to lean on my community. You can’t do life alone….no one can.

If you’re in a hard season, keep the faith. God’s got your back. You are not forgotten.

We all experience a little rain sometime. Remember the sun is going to come out. What is for you is for you.

If you’re looking around and noticing abundance and blessings for others, know that you are deserving of those things as well. Why shouldn’t you be blessed? Why shouldn’t you have abundance? If you do your part, God will do his. The Bible says, Faith without works is dead (James 2:26).

Let go of comparing yourself to your neighbor. Instead cheer for your friend and continue your journey. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Why not you? Trials and triumph are part of the marathon.

Stay the course friend; your triumph is on the horizon.

Peace and Blessings,

Stephanie

Show Yourself Grace

What does grace mean? Per Oxford Language, grace is defined as:

1. simple elegance or refinement of movement.

2. courteous goodwill 

We will focus on the second definition, courteous goodwill. What does courteous goodwill look like in your life? How do you show grace to your friends, family, and coworkers?

For me, grace is the process of understanding, forgiving, and showing kindness to someone else. Can you think of a time(s) you have shown grace? I know I can. Here are a couple of examples:

1. A customer in the grocery store whose items are being scanned, remembers they didn’t get milk, as the next customer in line, I say “hey it’s no big deal, go get what you need.” 2. A coworker had to leave work early so, I stayed late to help see patients. In both of these examples I wasn’t bothered, upset, or offended in the slightest…..it’s interesting how easy it is to be understanding for others but not so easy for one’e self.

Are you hard on yourself when you make a mistake or when others are impacted in a not so positive way by your actions or thoughts? I know I am—I am recovering from over analyzing and holding guilt.  Crazy, I know, me the person that tries to help others, also deals with feelings of guilt and shame. So here is the tea: I have a hard time forgiving myself or stopping my analytical brain from breaking down what happened, why it happened, and what I could have done to prevent “it” (insert note to self…Steph you’re human, you’re not perfect—no one is).

Here is an example from last week where I felt guilty. My alarm didn’t go off this past Wednesday morning, so I missed teaching my 5:30am yoga class. I called and emailed my students immediately upon waking up at 5:50am. They were all understanding and didn’t harbor any ill will towards me or my business. I unfortunately sat with the feelings of guilt for several hours while my students had moved past it. I had to repeatedly tell myself, “Steph it’s okay. They understand. The class is over. No one is upset, no one is cancelling their membership based off 1 moment in time. Just set extra alarms for your next class.” I finally let it go as there was nothing I could do to change the past, all I can do is be better in the future.

Now I want you to think of a time when you had difficulty showing yourself courteous goodwill (grace). What happened? How did you feel in the moment? What were other people’s response/reaction? How did you feel after? How long did it take you to release the feelings of guilt or awkwardness?

You have had the opportunity evaluate the situation and the time it took you to release the negative feelings. I want to gift you a few tips to help show yourself grace in the future:

1. Speak kindly to yourself

2. Let it go

3. Celebrate your wins

4. Stop comparing yourself to others

5. Be grateful

6. Take your own advice

7. Forgive yourself

8. Assess, reassess, and adjust your expectations

9. Love yourself

10. Learn from your mistakes

As you start the week and progress through the remainder of 2021, return to this list. Choose either of these tips to help you embrace the idea that you are worthy and deserving of grace.

Let today be Day 1 of you showing yourself grace.

Peace and Blessings,

Stephanie

Opportunity Knocks What Will You Do?

Opportunity Knocks What Will You Do?

Each day is a new opportunity; another chance to say yes to what brings you joy. Every day is a gift. What did you do with your gift today?

When you awoke this morning, what was the first action you took? Did you check your e-mail, peruse social media, pray, meditate, or did you say, “thank you Lord for another day”? I imagine that the majority of people scrolled social or checked e-mail. From there you got started with your day: morning care, breakfast/coffee, drop off the kiddos, and head to work.

At some point you logged in or should I say you attempted to log into social media, and nothing would load. How many times did you turn your cell phone or tablet off? Did you reset your device? Or perhaps you deleted the apps and then reinstalled them only to realize you still could not access your favorite content creator or influencers post, story, or reel.

What did you do when you finally accepted that Facebook, Instagram, and Whatsapp were not available? How did you fill your time?

Time is a gift. Time is a blessing. Time is an opportunity.

So today opportunity knocked. Today you had time. Today you had space; you were not distracted by social. Today you didn’t waste time.  

Friend let’s be real, social media is designed to suck you in and have you scrolling for minutes to hours on end, ultimately wasting time, energy, and emotions. Social has been found to negatively affect people’s self-esteem and self-worth. 

But NOT TODAY. Today you didn’t get sucked in. Today you didn’t waste time or energy. Today the filters and social media gurus didn’t have you second guessing who you were. 

I’m going to ask you again, how did you fill your time? What did you do when you couldn’t log onto social media?

My guess is, you were productive, effective, and efficient. My guess is you were present on your job and most importantly with your family. How did it feel to get stuff done? How did it feel to look your coworker and family in the eye and have dynamic and engaging conversation? 

If I was a gambling woman, I would bet $500 on double zero on roulette table that being off social media was nice. You finally had some breathing room. I bet you were super productive. You got your work done, maybe ran some errands, cooked dinner, and had quality time with the people who truly matter to you.

Friend, social media is not real life; it’s only a small glimpse into other people’s lives. Your life—the life you lead off the internet is REAL. Your life is what matters. How you spend your time and how you expend your energy are opportunities.  

Your time is an opportunity to be great, to do the things that you dream of, to live and stop watching other people’s lives. 

I challenge you today to start living. Friend start logging off of social media. Set limitations on how long you access apps that are distractions. 

It is time to dream big, to do the inner work, and take action to capitalize on your opportunities. Time is finite. Opportunities come and go. Don’t miss out on your blessing. Don’t miss out on life while watching someone else’s. 

If I can support or encourage on this journey called life, you know how to reach me: Stephanie@professorepps.com.

Now, Go be great! Day 1 over 1 day. 

Peace and Blessings,

Stephanie

"Perks" of Retiring from Higher Education

Hey Friends! Hope you are well and filled with peace. It’s been 2 months since my last blog post. Let me catch you up on life and allllll the things. 

The last few months have been filled with loving on my princess and hubby. We have traveled, laughed, and swam to our hearts content. I’ve maintained my commitment to only work 2-3 days a week at my NP job and I’ve grown my business.

I chose to retire from education because my heart was called to something different. Teaching other people how to overcome burnout and live intentionally is what I enjoy. I love helping, teaching, encouraging, and supporting.

Stepping out on faith was hard. Leaving a job with financial security, retirement, and excellent benefits was and still is scary.

It has been 3 months and I haven’t missed a beat or had to sacrifice my wants or needs. I’m not saying that you or anyone should quit their job. What I am saying is live life on purpose, plan, do the work, and take action. God will provide. If you do your part, he will do his.

Last month, I finally returned to pre-Covid sales in my business. I have faith that my business will continue to thrive because of the energy I expend towards it and towards my family.

Living with intention matters. Waking up every day I decide how my day will go. I no longer hold any resentment or negative feelings about what I can’t do because of work.

I am blessed to be able to decide what I do and where I go when I want to. Other than discussing my plans with my spouse, I don’t have to consult anyone or figure out how I can “make it work.”

As a professor I didn’t receive PTO/vacation days. There was no opportunity to take a vacation outside of Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, or spring break (2021 there was no spring break). In the last 3 months, I have set personal and professional boundaries, traveled, and rested.

Faculty were required to return to school for Fall 2021 the day my daughter had her first day of school. My daughter is 5 and this year (last week) was her first time going to school. My mother has cared for my daughter when my husband and I had to work.

If I had not transitioned away from higher education, I would not have been able to take her to school or pick her up.  For 5 years, my husband and I have been unable to travel to celebrate our anniversary because of mandatory university requirements.  Last week was the first of many great experiences. Next week I have the opportunity to attend a weeklong conference in support of downtown and economic development. If I were teaching, I would not have been able to attend this conference.

Additional “perks” of no longer teaching are:

1. Researching topics of my own interest,

2. Limiting email/internet communication

3. Improved attitude

4. More energy

5. More joy

6. Happiness

7. Quality time with friends and family

To clear the air, I didn’t hate my job. I actually enjoyed teaching and observing my students excel. Although, I liked teaching, I knew that I was not operating in all of my gifts.

God has a purpose for each of us. It is up to you to follow your purpose and do the work.

What do you desire? What actionable steps are you willing to take to transform your life? If there is a dream that you have, I invite you to write it down and start working on it. 

Why not you? Do it scared. Permit your faith to be bigger than your fear.

Day 1 over 1 day.

Mental Health Matters

May was mental health awareness month. You might find it odd that I share this blog the day after mental health awareness month, but there’s a reason. I write this blog as a reminder. A reminder of the past, the present, and for you to understand the importance of your future.

Yesterday was Memorial Day. 5/31 marked the 100-year anniversary of the Tulsa massacre. The lives that were lost in battle and in the town of Greenwood matter. The mental health of soldiers and their family’s matter. The mental health of those affected by trauma directly or indirectly matters. Your mental health matters.

As we move into June, you likely can recall receiving a few emails, or seeing social media posts, and other online content regarding mental health in the beginning of May; but you likely noticed that the discussion on mental health over the last week or 2 declined.  

This blog is to remind you that mental health matters every day. The mental health of your friends and loved one’s is important. Psychological health affects physical health. When you’re sad, anxious, worried, or overwhelmed, you don’t have clarity. You don’t know what wait to turn or what action is best.

When your mental health declines your physical health declines. You began to have physical pain and symptoms secondary to your psychological health. 

This blog is a call for action. I am telling you to prioritize your wellness. There is nothing worth your health. No job, no charity, and no person who truly values you, will want you to suffer. Speak up. Ask for help. Use your company benefits, insurance, and free services to help pull yourself up.

I’ve been in therapy for almost a year and it’s the best thing I could have ever done for myself. My therapist has helped me change my life. Friend, I used to be in dark place, a place I never I want to return to. I would be sad and alone and cry, but I pulled it together before my kiddo or my hubby saw me. I felt I had to be strong and get “it” done, and you know what I did. 

I was strong. I took care of business. I did all the things for all the people, except me. I smiled, I excelled, I worked, I went to school, opened a business, and I cared my family. I was the friend that everyone came to with their problem’s, but I didn’t feel I could off load my stuff to anyone else. It wasn’t until I began to think my sadness could effect my family that I sought out help.

When I met my therapist, she asked me what gives me joy and when was the last time I was happy. I sat there for a moment and then I just started to cry. The moment that came to mind was the summer before we got pregnant. I remembered so much joy, freedom, and fulfillment. I told her, “I want that….I want that type of joy again. I want to be free. I want to be happy.” During that time in my life, I wasn’t working 60-80 hours a week, I wasn’t in school, I wasn’t taking care of everyone else all the time (work, home, business, etc). It was a time where I had less on my shoulders. I was able to rest.

I have an amazing husband and the most loving daughter that when I shared the last time that I was happy, I felt bad. I felt guilty. I thought my feelings were that of a bad mother and wife. My therapist told me that I wasn’t a bad wife or mother. She helped me identify burnout. You would think after years of researching burnout, I could see it in myself…but I couldn’t. I was so deep into that I wasn’t able to see the signs in myself.

My therapist also helped me identify high functioning depression. I am not ashamed of depression. I am not ashamed to say I have had hard days and dark days and that I survived them. I am so much better because of therapy. I give credit to therapy, yoga, boundaries coaching, and prayer to be where I am today.

Folx that don’t understand mental health, trauma, or their impact can’t process why some people feel that they can’t go on. Prayer isn’t the only avenue to health.

As a person of color, I didn’t grow up with people talking about mental health or trauma. But now, I look at my nieces and nephews and Gen Z and I am so thankful that we are speaking up about the importance of total health (mental, physical, and spiritual).  

I share my story in the hopes, that you remember the importance of your mental health. Every day you wake up, check in with yourself. How are your thoughts? How is your energy? How do you feel inside and out?  

World renowned tennis player, Naomi Osaka chose to withdraw from the French Open for her own well-being. Her commitment to protecting herself is something to be supported and encouraged all around the world.

When you are deciding on what path to take and what is important to you, remember this, if it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no.

If you battle mental disease processes, remember that you are not alone. We are here together. Choose rest. Start saying no. Know your triggers. Empower yourself in whatever manner you need to.

You get one life and you deserve to live it with peace and joy.

If you’re reading this and you have a friend or colleague who experiences mental health trials, don’t judge. Listen. Be present. Love. Provide support or give resources that help. That’s what real friends do.  

Mental health matters 24-7, 365 days a year.

Do not leave mental health in May. Whatever tools, strategies, or tips you have absorbed during May take it with you into June, July, August, and so on.

I will leave you with a few online resources for yourself or that you can share with a loved one.

Resources for mental health support:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Therapy For Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

Injured Veterans or Veterans with PTSD: www.vetcetner.va/gov

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.afsp.org

Postpartum Progress: www.postpartumprogress.com

Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: www.dbsalliance.org

Shoot Your Shot

Hey Friend! It’s hump day.  Here is your midweek check in…How are you feeling today? What are you grateful for?

Today you have been granted another opportunity. You woke up with breath, site, and wisdom. You have the knowledge and capability of doing anything you want.

What do you desire? What will you do with the dream that lives in your heart? How will that dream become a reality?

Friend, I receive emails and direct messages from women who say they want to change their lives. After these messages I ask what steps they are taking to reach their goals. The answer is usually nothing, to which I then ask why. There are various reasons or barriers, but I don’t stop at their reason. I dig deeper and ask them the tough questions, the impactful questions that require reflection and work. I then offer suggestions.

I know (yes, I do know) that there is something that you desire to do, somewhere you desire to go, or something you want to change. Imposter syndrome, uncertainty, fear, pride, and many other internal and external factors contribute to why you don’t act. 

Shoot your shot friend. What’s the worst thing that can happen? What will you do if that “thing” does happen? Most likely, you will be no worse off by trying. 

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. You won’t ever know what is possible if you don’t try. Go after those goals. Speak up. Start therapy. Apply for that job. Do what you want. What if the time you take that leap of faith you soar?

I’ll share someone with you. I submitted a proposal to contribute to the Black Girl In Om online publication. It has been 4.5 months and I have not heard anything. It is safe to assume that my proposal was not accepted. Am I upset? No. Am I sad? No. Do I desire to know where I can improve to be considered for the future? Yes.

There is no need for me to be sad or angry. Instead of those feelings, I sit with an open mind and heart to be and do better. Every opportunity is not meant for me. Just like every person or situation is not for you. 

I will let this experience be a catalyst to improve and grow for other opportunities.

If you desire something, go after it. Shoot your shot. You will never know what is possible if you don’t try.

Day 1 over 1 day.

Are You Living Intentionally?

Hey Friend!! I’m back! Bringing you another blog. It’s all about living with intention. Two weeks ago, I let you know that I am living life on purpose and making decisions to change the trajectory of my life. With the plan to live intentionally, I have to show up and do the work. If I tell you to do the work, I have to do the same.  

For the last 5 years I have been saying I want to have fresh flowers at my house. Not a big fancy bouquet from a florist; but a simple bouquet from my local market. This is my second week acting on that desire. When I told my therapist last year that I desired to live with intention and be present, she challenged me to do just that. So, when she and I met a few weeks back, I told her how my resignation discussion went (I’ll give you the deets after my official last day of work). She then asked me what is one word that described my feelings at the time; my word was “joy.” Joy in knowing that I am free to live life on purpose and do the work God has placed in my heart.  

We went on to discuss what brings me joy and I shared with her my love for flowers and how I keep telling myself that I want to have fresh flowers in my home. Her next words were, “what’s stopping you.” I just sat and shook my head. The answer was nothing. Nothing, but the lack of action. If I truly desire to have fresh flowers and if a $8 bouquet of flowers makes me happy, I will take the 1-mile walk or drive to the store and take 5 minutes to design my bouquet. This is being intentional friend.

The last 2 weeks I have chosen to make my flower bouquet. Here is a short video of my DIY flowers. My daughter and I made our flower arrangement the first week and she loved it. I desire for my daughter to live her life free and with intention. In order for my daughter to understand living life with intention and doing what gives her joy, I have to show her that. She will want to emulate me if I live life on purpose. 

Friend I have a few questions for you: What gives you joy? How are you living life with intention? When you wake up in the morning what words comes to mind? Is there anything that you desire to do that you have been putting off? Let today be the day where you choose to start living life on purpose. 

Small things matter; a bouquet of flowers, having a picnic in the park, going for a walk. Do what matters. Do what gives you joy. Live with intention.  

Day 1 over 1 day.

Burnout is Real…..I’m “Retiring” from Academia

Tuesday was the day. After 5 years in higher education, I submitted my letter of resignation to my department chair. I have chosen to “retire” from formal education. I have been considering shifting my energy for about a year. My passion for teaching, leading, guiding, and supporting burns bright. That passion has transitioned to mentoring and encouraging busy professionals and moms who desire to overcome burnout, get unstuck, prioritize their wellness, and achieve their life’s dreams.

Are you an educator or know anyone in education? If you answered yes, you’re aware of the many facets of education. You have to teach, serve, complete continuing education, and participate in scholarly work (research, grants, publication, etc). You also volunteer or get volunteered for organizations, committees, and other jobs. The public doesn’t realize that the job goes beyond teaching.

I know, I didn’t fully comprehend all that was required when I accepted this position. I can say I have loved almost every moment teaching my students. As a clinician and an educator, when I taught coursework in my specialties of neuro, trauma, and critical care it was exciting and rewarding. I was in my element…the place where I thrived. I’m also “in my zone”, when I’m lecturing on research topics that matter to me.

I have received many emails and telephone calls over the years, from students with words of appreciation and acknowledgement of the time commitment and hard work that goes into education. Just this morning a student emailed me with words of thanks for writing a recommendation for a fellowship. This student was accepted for the first round of interviews (super pumped for her). It is these type of moments, that I frequently reflected upon, when considering “retiring” from my academia.

However, the gratitude of my students and my love for teaching were not enough to overcome feelings of burnout. I am constantly preaching and teaching wellness, self-care, and holistic practices. I have given multiple presentations and completed research on burnout. Preventing burnout is one of my passions. You know why? Let me tell you; it’s because I have experienced burnout and it sucks. Burnout leads to depression, anxiety, lack of interest, inability to focus, poor diet, and more. Burnout affects more than your work life. Burnout jacks up your personal life and your overall wellness.

If we have connected in “real life” or on social media, you know how I feel about burnout. There is no job or environment worth your health. I have worked throughout the day and night on course work, emails, research, and scholarly lectures. There came a point where I was receiving calls, emails and text messages well after the workday had ended and on the weekend.

This was affecting my home life. When work affects you as an individual and your family something has to change. It took some time for me to decide and realize that I was ready to transition. I spoke with my husband, my mother, and my therapist before making this informed decision. I desire to live my best life with intention. Friend, you get one life…One opportunity to do the work that you have been called to. You have to live life to its fullest.

There is a scripture that says, “No man knows the hour or day, not the angels of heaven, not the Son, but the Father Alone” (Matthew 24:36). This passage is in reference to God’s return. However, it is also applicable to your life. You nor I, know when our last breath will be. We don’t know how or when we will depart this earthly world. But what you and I do know, is that we will leave here one day.

No one likes to talk about death, but it’s real. Life and time earth side are finite. You deserve to live a holistic, empowered, and fulfilled life while you’re here. And you know what, so do I. God didn’t say it would be easy. Heck, if you have lived a bit, you know it ain’t easy.

Life is hard. But friend, there are many, many, many joyous days and wonderful experiences that you are deserving of. So, I ask you a few questions:

What do you desire? What gives you joy? Are you living life intentionally? Are you fulfilled? Have you found your purpose? What actions have you taken to show up for yourself?

I have found my purpose. I am aligned with God’s will for life and I’m here for it. I’m saying NO to burnout and YES to me. My goal is to Cultivate Yes, every day of my life.

I am “retiring” from formal education at the end of this semester (that’s one yes). Friend, I am so full of joy and excitement about my next. Life in my 30s is getting good. Burnout and fear have no home here.

If you are overworked, overwhelmed, burned out, lack self-care, and trying to balance all the crazy, we are the same. I’m challenging you to look at your life, seriously, put your glasses on and do an assessment of what is important, what needs to change, and how you (YOU) can take action to say no to burnout and yes to you.

Start living life with intention. Start living life on purpose. Start Cultivating Yes. 

Let today be your Day 1.

Mammograms and Breast Exams are Self Care

Hey Friend,

I know it’s been a month; literally a month since my last blog/vlog. I need to do better. I will do better. It’s a daily battle of getting my life as Tamar Braxton would say. My goal is to send you a blog/vlog, tips, and info 3 times a month. I’m steadily working to carve out time to write and share valuable content with you. You will see the growth and commitment I have to you and this platform as I make changes in my personal and professional life.

Just hold on and bear with me over the next 4-6 weeks. If you need daily inspiration, be sure to connect with me on Instagram.  That’s where I post most days of the week and have some pretty good IG stories and live chats.

Okay back to the point. Today’s blog/vlog is about mammograms. Yep, we are talking about the boob smashing assessments that are recommended for the average woman, beginning at age 40. You’re saying, Steph you’re not 40 why are you talking about mammograms. Well friend, let me tell you, last week I had 2 mammograms and an ultrasound.

Breast cancer is not prominent in my family. However, my Midwife felt the need for me to have a mammogram after my last wellness visit, so I went, and had it done. I’ll give you a little history; I had my first mammogram when I was 27 and it sucked. My hubby found a lump in my right breast and it was one of the scariest moments in my life. After serial tests, I was released from follow up with a clear diagnosis…no cancer, no changes in the size of the lesion.

Well here we are, 8 years later with that feeling of uncertainty and fear. My vlog detailed the day of the mammogram and ultrasound. You can view it here. I will say I don’t have cancer (thank God) but I’m back to having repeat diagnostic studies for at least 1 year.

Cancer sucks, uncertainty sucks, but empowering yourself does not. Do your self-breast exams. Go to your doctor’s appointments. If finances or insurance are barriers to obtaining wellness visits, look into free or low rate clinics and into the local health department.

Your physical health matters. Your mental health matters. Self-care is a requirement. If you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of anyone else.

Hugs and positive thoughts,

Stephanie

Below are a few tips on doing self-breast exams (disclaimer this is not medical advice; always speak with your healthcare provider).

1. Do your self-breast exam on the same day every month.

2. Visually examine your breast for changes, redness, dimpling in the mirror.

3. Repeat the mirror breast exam with your arms raised.

4. Lying down, examine your breast in a circular or up and down pattern. Your right breast is assessed with your left hand and your left breast with your right hand. Cover the entire breast including the nipple. Note any discharge from the nipple.

5. Repeat your breast exam while standing up.

6. Make an appointment with your provider if you note any lumps, changes, nodules, pain, irregularities, etc. in your breast.

Moms Solo Beach Trip

Hey Friends! I’m back with a short blog and a vlog. Last weekend I went on a solo trip to St. Simon’s Island. This was my first trip completely alone….No hubby, no kiddo, no friends, no coworkers….just me. Yep, I’m 35 and this was my first vacation without a single friend or family member. You might be thinking I’m late to this “solo vacay” thing but I beg to differ. I’m not late. I’m right on time.

Throughout the course of 2020 and actually, the last few years I’ve been overwhelmed, anxious, and in a constant state of “busy.” I’m always surrounded by people. I’m around people at home, at work, and in my business. I’ve been wanting time alone for a while but always felt “bad,” “wrong,” “guilty,” and a little “selfish” for desiring to chill out and rest without having to take care of anyone else or do anything else but focus on me.

As I look back over those feelings, I know that those negative words do not have value and are untrue. There isn’t anything wrong or bad about wanting to be alone or rest for a few days. I’m constantly telling my yoga students, friends, and mentees about the importance of self-care and rest. I believe in walking the talk. I can’t guide other people to find their greatness or to prioritize their wellness if I am not doing the same.

In 2020, my hubby asked me what I desired for Christmas and I immediately thought, “I want a weekend trip by myself.” I thought this but answered, “I don’t know.” I said IDK because I was scared of hurting his feelings and having him think less of me (stupid thoughts, I know). He repeatedly asked me what I wanted, and I just kept blowing him off. The reality is, there isn’t anything I need outside of my peace of mind. Each time he asked, the only thing that came to mind was a weekend of rest.

After about 6 weeks of my hubby asking what I wanted for Christmas I finally told him. Was he disappointed, sad, or angry? No. He said, “Okay babe, you deserve it. You work hard and support our finally; you deserve time for you. Where do you want to go?” I was quiet for a moment and then sad, I want to go to The Getaway House. He said okay and did some research on reserving it. 

A few weeks later, my hubby came back to me and said, he didn’t feel comfortable with me going to the woods by myself. Insert eye roll here as I’m listening. My response was I can be alone in the woods and handle myself. He said that I didn’t know how to use a compass, my cell phone might lose service, and I could get lost hiking in the woods. I listened and acknowledged his concerns.

My spouse wanted me to have a safe weekend alone, so I said that I understood his fears and therefore I was open to other locations. Hubby ultimately reserved the King and Prince Beach and Golf Resort in St. Simons Island. Best idea ever! I love the beach and l love quiet time.

I spent 3 nights alone and chilled out. My trip consisted of yoga, meditation, cardio, good eats, relaxing on the beach, a massage, and rest. At the end of the trip, I told Daniel I wanted the exact same gift for Christmas 2021. He laughed and said okay.

I made a short vlog about the trip. Tap the link below to view. If you’re a busy woman or mom and desire some time alone, I recommend taking a 3- or 4-day trip to reset, regroup, and rest your mind and body.

Moms Solo Weekend Beach Vlog

If You're Stressed Out, Try Box Breathing

Hello There! How are you feeling? How is your energy? How is your spirit? Last week I was stressed to the MAX! My energy was super low and I was overwhelmed. My workload has increased in addition to changes in my business.

Last Wednesday, I literally told my boss I couldn’t take on anything else. I was at the point where stress and anxiety tip towards burnout. I almost quit my job last week. You’re probably like, “WHHAATT? Girl, you almost quit?? What happened? Why? What did they do? I thought you liked teaching.”

Friend, I have a good boss. I enjoy teaching and I’m a good professor. So why did I almost quit? Not because I don’t enjoy teaching. Not because I don’t have a great boss. Not because I don’t see or hear the positive impact I’m making on students. I almost quit because I was stressed out. I immediately stopped everything I was doing, emailed my therapist and focused on my breathing.

I implemented a breathing exercise called box breathing and quickly felt better. The heaviness on my shoulders and on my chest decreased. The brain fog reduced and I was able to make a better decision about what I need to do for my health. I am a holistic practitioner. I believe that mental, physical, and spiritual health are important. If one of those areas are out of alignment things get crazy. If you reflect back over your life, you too might recall times where you were stressed and made or nearly made a rush decision.

After implementing box breathing, I scheduled a meeting with my boss and we discussed ways to improve the environment and work load. If I hadn’t taken a moment to slow down and implement a tool that I know is helpful I would have a made another decision. Below is a link to a video for box breathing. If you are stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, this breathing exercise might be beneficial to you too.

Going forward my blogs are going to have more video content (more vlogs on the horizon), but you will also receive the occasional letter and tips to help you with wellness, burnout, and empowerment.

Be sure to subscribe to my youtube channel and share the blogs/vlogs with friends and family who can benefit from tools and strategies to decrease burnout, improve their wellness, and achieve their goals.

Box Breathing- A breathing exercise for feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed.

In All Things Give Thanks

Hey Family! I want to check in with you to see how you’re feeling. How are your spirits? Did you get enough rest today? Did you eat well? I genuinely care about how you are holding up. Send me an e-mail or DM on social media for a wellness check.

In reflecting on your physical and emotional wellness, how is your attitude? How’s your heart? Are you able to maintain a spirit of joy and appreciation? Have you heard the statement, “In all things give thanks?” It is one of my preferred scriptures and quotes that I speak over my life. Over the last 2 weeks, I have had to consistently remind myself to be thankful and to live in gratitude.

I started this blog on Thanksgiving Day but was unable to complete it. My dog, Georgia Claire, became extremely ill on Thanksgiving Eve. She had 2 seizures and her blood sugar was 20-30s. My hubby had to take her to the emergency vet that night. It was a battle raising her glucose. The veterinary team at Woodland Animal Hospital finally stabilized her with IV fluids and other medications, and she started eating. I’m so thankful for their entire staff.

We were able to pick her up Thanksgiving night, but Georgia wasn’t the same. Our sweet girl was diagnosed with Diabetes in the spring. She rapidly developed cataracts. We had been planning for her cataract surgery and the team at Auburn University hoped to optimize her blood sugar and a few other medical conditions so that she could have her surgery by January 2021.

When Daniel brought Georgia back home on Thanksgiving, she ate and drank but appeared disoriented. She was whining through the night and walking into things. Prior to Thanksgiving Eve, she knew her way around the house. As I reflect on these days, I now see that Georgia was showing us additional signs that she wasn’t well. She had just recovered from a UTI and an ear infection, and was recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism. So, we were trying to regulate her thyroid in addition to the blood sugar, when she took a turn for the worse during this week of Thanksgiving.

On Black Friday, sweet Georgia developed intractable vomiting and profound weakness. She couldn’t keep anything down. My hubby had to carry our 90lb dog up and down the stairs. This was such a sad and emotionally taxing time. I talked with our primary veterinarian from North Griffin Animal Hospital, who was in another state, via telephone and text about what was going on. Dr. Lexie was on vacation but immediately made time for my family. I shared with her at length Georgia’s symptoms, blood glucose, confusion, and more. We ultimately ended up having to take Georgia back to the emergency vet.

On Saturday, November 28, 2020 Georgia transitioned. My hubby and princess took the news really hard. As a wife, mom, and healthcare professional, I’m the one that people seek out with questions and I’m able to give answers and hold space…..but it’s completely different when you see your baby crying and your husband filled with grief. 

I had never saw our daughter cry so hard in her 4 years of living. All I could do was hold her and allow her to feel and share what was in her heart. This has been the hardest 2 weeks for our sweet girl. She has started to understand but she still says she wants her sister back (that’s what she called Georgia). Our daughter sleeps with a maternity photo book that are full of pictures of Georgia to give her comfort. My hubby and I are committed to allowing her to fully process her feelings and share without pushing her to move on. As you know, everyone processes grief differently. We steadily remind her of all the good times we had together and that now Georgia isn’t sick anymore. I think knowing Georgia isn’t ill makes our girl feel better. 

Now I have to tell you about Sug (short for sugar, the nickname I call Daniel). He loved Georgia Claire so much and he was working so hard to get her new eyes for Christmas. Over the last 2 months all he talked about was getting her ready for surgery but unfortunately, we couldn’t give her, her sight back. He wanted her to be happy and healthy and to be able see us again.

Between him witnessing 1 of the seizures, the vomiting, and her weakness, he looked so lost about what to do. This time was extremely sad. In our 10 years of marriage, I don’t think I have ever witnessed him in such despair. My heart melted for him. Sug is always strong, supportive, and encouraging. He’s my person and I’m his.

I’m thankful that we have each other. I live in gratitude that that we support each. I live in gratitude knowing that Georgia isn’t suffering anymore. I give thanks that Sug and I are able to be the support system that our daughter needs. I give thanks that our family is even stronger through this loss. I give thanks in the sadness. I give thanks in the grief. I give thanks in the loss.

There’s a song that I used to love to hear as a kid growing up in the AME church. I’ve listened to it multiple times over 2020; and even more so these last 2 weeks. This song has been a place of uplifting for me. It’s called “I won’t complain.” If you haven’t heard it before, I’ll link it for you here.

In all things give thanks.

If you’re experiencing a hard time, or you’ve lost someone or something, know that it’s not over. The sad times, the grief, and the loss are not the end of your story. Those experiences are only a chapter in the book of your life.

In the good times, give thanks. In the happy times, give thanks. In the sad times, give thanks. In the anger, give thanks. In the loss, give thanks. In every season of your life, give thanks. Each day is blessing. Each day is another opportunity for you to be your best self, for you, and for someone else.

Live in gratitude.

A Letter of Gratitude

It is the week of Thanksgiving. We are living, loving, hustling, and working. In all the things, you are being reminded to be grateful. You are being reminded to be appreciative of family, friends, health, your job, etc.

In this time of year where we discuss gratitude and appreciation on a higher level, have you taken a moment to be thankful for you? Have you told yourself good job? Have you stepped back to appreciate you? Most likely, I imagine that you haven’t.  

Yesterday, I wrote myself a letter. Do you know why I wrote it? Probably not. The reason I wrote this letter was to remind myself that I’m doing the work, that I’m valuable, that I matter, and that I’m seen. I wrote this letter in affirmation of the work that I’m doing. I wrote this letter in appreciation of me.

I wrote this letter as a reminder that I don’t need anyone else to validate me. I don’t need anyone else to tell me “good job.” Instead, I (Stephanie Epps) need to validate myself. I need to show myself appreciation and love. Compassion, gratitude, and love start with self. It’s difficult to show someone else compassion, gratitude, or love when you don’t show them to you.

Below is my short letter. After you read it, I invite you to stop and spend 5 minutes to write your own letter of appreciation. You have 5 minutes. You are worth 5 minutes to say thank you, to you.

A letter to myself:

Hey Sis 👑!

I see you: Glowing, Shining, Working, Caring, Teaching, Dreaming, Manifesting, and Showing Up!

You’re a dope soul!

That smile looks so GOOD on you. Your eyes are bright; they are full of light and joy.

All, that hard work you’re doing is paying off. You are impacting people’s lives every day. You are helping people heal, stand in their power, and go after their goals.

Sis, keep up the good work.

Continue. Keep showing up. Keep doing the work. Stay the course.

You got this!

Boundaries, How Many of Us Have Them?

Hey Fam! How are ya’ll doing? I’m A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Let me say it again in my excited voice: I AM A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! Ya’ll, I feel so free. Utterly free!

Yes, I know I’m crazy blogging. Is crazy blogging a thing? IDK but I feel so good. I have to tell ya’ll why. It’s because of Boundaries. My freedom, peace, and joy are because of the word “NO.” I’m 35 years old and I finally do not feel guilty for telling someone no. Maintaining my boundaries contributes to feeling free and protecting my peace.

Ya’ll know I’m constantly saying protect your peace and stand in your truth. I tell you that because you deserve to speak openly and be at peace with your words and decisions. Over the course of 2020, I have done A LOT of work on my boundaries. I have delved deep into my personal self-study, reflection, and deconstruction of the programming of society.

I have to be truthful. The process was U-G-L-Y. Do ya’ll know that old school cheer? U-G-L-Y, You Ain’t Got No Alibi, You ugly? If you don’t know it, here’s clip of the cheer from the movie, Wildcats.

I know I’m not ugly. My soul, my heart, and my outer being are beautiful. But the process of breaking down the chains of programming, fear, and passivity were ugly.  Ya’ll I have sat in discomfort. I have journaled. I have questioned myself, my choices, and what’s next. The answers I always received were truth. In life we already have the answers. We already know what we need to do, but fear of hurting someone or disappointing others or ourselves keeps us bound. It’s that fear that prevents us from maintaining our boundaries. 

I have been working with Tee Brooks, a sociologist, mindfulness teacher, and transformative wellness coach on my boundaries. This work has been life changing. Just a mere 7 months ago, I was a pushover. I always put everyone else first. I adjusted things to fit others needs rather than my own. I changed my business to accommodate other people.

PSA! PSA! If you’re an entrepreneur don’t do that. Make your business work for you. Be in control. Be a leader.

Let me tell you, I would let people (friends, family, colleagues, etc) have their way at my detriment. Ya’ll don’t be like me. Be better than me.

Yesterday, was a huge step for me. I lost a friend over maintaining my boundaries. You know what? I’m not sad and I’m not angry about it. I actually felt sooooo good about the work I have done for me, that I wrote this blog. I won’t go into the details of what transpired, but I will say that you will lose some friends, family, and other associates over protecting yourself. Know that it will happen, and it will be okay. The people that are for you and who understand boundaries will respect your boundaries and support you. 

Don’t be afraid of saying “NO.” Don’t be afraid of putting your needs first. When you do the deep work, your eyes, your heart, and your spirit will lift. Friend, the feeling of freedom is like no other. I welcome freedom. I invite you to do the deep work that leads to peace and freedom.

You deserve to protect your peace, affirm yourself, and to maintain your boundaries. Learn to say the word “no” without guilt. If you need help with boundaries, contact Tee Brooks. This is not an ad. I only share information, strategies, and products that I actually have experienced the benefits of.

If you’re ready to let go of fear, check out my Empowered Living: Fear Setting program. It was released last week.

I want to leave you with 5 ways to mindfully and peacefully say “NO.”

1. No thank you.

2. I’m not interested.

3. I’m honored but I can’t.

4. My schedule is full.

5. I am not taking on additional responsibilities.

Friend, if you know anyone who can benefit from this blog, make sure to share it with them. #protectyourpeace #maintainyourboundaries #sayno

BIG FAITH! My First Vlog

Hello Family! How are you? I hope well. How are you spirits? Are you holding up okay? How’s your faith? Have you been showing up for yourself? Let me know; seriously, I’m actually one of those people who genuinely care and want to see you filled with joy.   

Fam let tell you, I have been mentally preparing to write my “BIG FAITH” blog for weeks. Yes, I said….weeks!! You’re probably thinking, “Steph, I’ve received your blogs and event letters. How have you not written this faith blog yet?” Well friend, this is why, I have wavered. I have been on a seesaw, a pendulum if you will, about what do. I have been uncertain. I wasn’t certain in my spirit, in my heart of hearts about what actions I should take, where to go, or what to believe. I did not have clarity; and you know clarity is a requirement in order to progress.

On October 9, 2020 I started writing my “BIG FAITH” blog. You know I write about faith and doing the work to achieve your dreams and reach your full potential. As I was writing my blog, I was well into page 2 when I stopped. I said “Steph, nobody is going to read this blog. It’s going to be too long.” I then said to myself, “Steph, make a vlog instead.” So that’s what I did. I recorded this vlog on faith, commitment, action, and outcomes. This vlog is my story; it’s my truth of my second baby, my business “Indigo Soul Yoga.” This vlog tells you where I came from, where we are now, and what’s next. I hope you can sit down, sip some tea, and take a listen. The link is below. If you find value in the vlog or think it might motivate or help someone else make sure to share it with them.

BIG FAITH: 1st VLOG