Fall Is for Self-Care

Fall has officially arrived. The weather is changing, and more people are navigating a self-care path. Self-care looks different for each person. Self-care is a practice of taking an action that impacts your overall well-being. Self-care is an act of love towards you. Self-care empowers, uplifts, and restores. Self-care heals.

What actionable steps can you take to implement a daily self-care practice? Maybe, your mind is blank, you’re frozen, and have no idea what you can do. Perhaps you’re thinking, self-care sounds good, but your life commitments do not provide opportunities for self-care. It’s okay friend, you are not alone in these thoughts.

Relax your shoulders from your ears. Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try it again, deep inhale and let it go. Repeat these cleansing breaths as many times as you need. Intentional breathwork is self-care.

Most of the readers of my blog are women. But there are some gentlemen who also connect with the words that I share.

Men and women need self-care. Self-care is not gender specific. Self-care is a basic requirement of life to function. If you do not care for yourself, you cannot care for other people. An individual who consistently gives without refilling their storehouse, or their “gas tank” if you will, eventually empties their reserves. When the reserves are empty, the body slows down and a variety of symptoms begin to occur.

If you drive a car and do not put any additional fuel in the tank or if you have an electric, if you don’t charge it, the car won’t start; the car won’t move forward. The same way you put gas in your car or charge your car, you need to fuel yourself.

It is imperative that YOU consistently take care of you. You are important. Your needs and wants are important. On an airplane, the flight attendants say put on your oxygen mask and then help someone. This statement is referring to helping yourself before your children or the older adult sitting next to you.

Think about it, how can you help your child if you can’t breathe? You’re no good to them if you can’t breathe. You can’t take care of them or help them, if you aren’t well.

I’m part of a mom’s group and have shared many times the necessity of caring for self. Mom’s frequently mention feeling guilt and shame around the topic of self-care. There is nothing shameful about being good to yourself. If you’re good to you, you can be great for others.

My friend and former colleague, Geremy Wooten is my 4am self-care partner. For years I had the hardest time waking up early for meditation and movement. During Covid, that finally changed, and I haven’t looked back. Waking up at 4am is my sacred time. I ease into my day with prayer and meditation, followed by some type of movement. These 3 actions set the foundation for my day, my mindset, and my attitude. Whenever I miss my morning ritual, the day is off. My energy is off. Heck even my jovial personality is altered.

Geremy (G) and I join each other for Peloton rides and send each other encouraging words to continue our wellness journey. G is an example that self-care starts at home. He exercises and supports his wife in her health journey. G shows his children that men not only provide financially for their homes but also emotionally. He is currently coaching his daughter in track. Being present for himself gives G the ability to be fully present with his family.

Sharing a little bit of Geremy’s story is just 1 example of self-care. To learn more about G, head over to Instagram and follow him @mindfullywoo.

Friend, you do not have to wake at 4am to take care of yourself. You don’t have to run or cycle to take care of you. But you MUST do something. If you have no clue where to start, below are 10 no cost/low-cost options for self-care this fall.

1.     Sit on your porch or in your favorite location and savor a warm drink.

2.     Take a walk in your neighborhood and notice the changing colors of the leaves.

3.     Sing and/or dance to your favorite music.

4.     Spend 5 minutes journaling.

5.     Bake your favorite fall treat.

6.     15 minutes of mindful movement.

7.     Set and maintain boundaries.

8.     Ask for help.

9.     Take a nap.

10.  Breathe.

Review the list and pick 1 thing to try to complete every day.

Self-care isn’t selfish. Self-care is self-preservation.

Health Is Wealth

2022 has arrived, the world is still crazy, and we are all just trying to keep our heads above water. I’m sure that with the new year, you are inundated with emails, commercials, and social media posts on weight loss, “detoxing,” clean eating, and “new year, new me” statements. Every year thousands of people make resolutions to change or make steps in a new direction.

Instead of resolving to do something, set an intention, or choose a word to guide your year. For 2022 my word of the year is possibility. In September 2021 I embarked on a program called 75 Hard.

My dear friend Nicole, owner of Crumbles by Nicole shared this program with me. Let me tell you about it. 75 Hard is 75 consecutive days of two 45 minute workouts (1 is supposed to be outside), a diet of your choice (I’m not a fan of dieting so I chose a healthy pescatarian nutrition plan), reading 10 pages of a nonfiction book, absence of alcohol consumption, no cheat meals, drink a gallon of water, and take a progress picture.

I chose 75 hard because I was in a “rut” with my nutrition. I was eating KitKats and kettle cooked chips 5 out of 7 days a week, eating unbalanced meals (or not eating), and my blood pressure was elevated (systolic 130s) at 2 separate doctor’s appointments. It was at my second appointment that I said I had to do something. Hypertension is hereditary in my family as it is for many other black and brown people. My parents have high blood pressure and my grandparents had it. At the time of my doctor’s appointment I knew that I could not continue on the salty and sweet path that led to taking antihypertensives. I did not want to take medication, nor did I want the repercussions of prolonged high blood pressure (headache, fatigue, dizziness, kidney disease, etc).

As a healthcare and wellness provider I believe in being an example to my patients and to my yoga students. I knew that I couldn’t out exercise a poor diet and had to take purposeful action for me to be well.

Nicole and I were at a local park walking when she told me about 75 Hard. I researched the program and made the decision to take back control of my life. You’re probably wondering was the program difficult; 1-word answer: yes. Although it was hard, the program was doable. The hardest part was making time for a second workout. After the first month things got easier. I mentally and physically felt better with more clarity and self-awareness. As a bonus I lost 14 pounds and my blood pressure decreased 20 points (now systolic 115). 

I coasted through the holidays and got sick at the first of the year. As I was recovering, I received some news about the healthcare of one my family members. I was informed that my loved one received a new diagnosis which is thought to be related to uncontrolled hypertension. This was confirmation that prioritizing physical and mental health is a requirement. There is nothing worth a decline in your health.

Health is wealth. There is no price one can place on health. I spoke with my family member for about 45 minutes regarding their diagnosis, treatment plan, and non pharmacological options. We discussed mindset and I shared my word of the year; “possibility.” What is possible when you choose to be intentional? How can your life change for the better?

Friend don’t resolve to be healthy, or to lose 20 pounds, or to sleep 8 hours a night. Instead be intentional, be purposeful with your wellness and self-care. Mental, physical, and spiritual health equals wealth.

If you need a little more self-care, a reduction in your stress, and relaxation join me for a livestream 30-minute stretch and restorative yoga class. Self-care, health, and wellness are your birthright. Make time to prioritize your health.

The first stretch, de-stress, and rest class for working women and mothers was on 1/16/2022. I am offering a second class on Sunday, 1/23/2022 at 8:30pm. Let this class be one of the intentional actions you take to improve your wellness. You deserve to have 30 minutes to focus on you.

Why Not You?

 Why Me or Why Not Me? Do you ever ask these questions to yourself?

In my blogs, I like to keep it real. I shoot from the hip. So, here is a little background, I used to be a “Why me, Lord” type of person. I used to think to myself, “I’m a good person, I work hard, I love hard; why does this have to happen to me. Why can’t I catch a break?” Now, I know I’m not the first person and I won’t be the last person to have these thoughts. 

It’s normal. I’m human. You’re human. We have varying emotions.

Through committing to self-study, meditation, and prayer, I have been able to change my thought patterns. Rather than “Why me” when hard things occur, I say “Why not me.” 

Hard times are part of life. Your outlook and attitude determine the impact that difficult circumstances have on your mind, body, and spirit. Your thoughts are powerful. Your words are powerful. What are you speaking quietly to yourself? How can you transition your thoughts from uncertainty or negativity to hope, prosperity, and assuredness?

Are you able to embrace the words, “Why not me?” If you’re a person of faith, when rough patches arise, remember the song, “Trouble don’t last always.” Growing up in the black church, I remember the choir singing this song on Sunday mornings.

Rev. Timothy Wright, had it right when he sang, “He may not come when you want him, but he’s on time. In times of trouble, I found him to be a friend of mine. In time storm clouds rise, he’ll be there. All your burdens, I know the Lord will help you to bear. I’m so glad, trouble don’t last always.”

I didn’t receive or fully process these words until I was a teenager. Now as an adult, the lyrics mean even more. I have seen my share of “trouble.” Friend I’m here to say, that the trouble doesn’t last always. I appreciate the hard times in my career, in my relationships, and with my health. Those hard times have taught me strength, tenacity, and appreciation for every day God gives me. I am so much stronger and wiser for all the “ish” I have experienced.

The trouble has taught me resiliency and to lean on my community. You can’t do life alone….no one can.

If you’re in a hard season, keep the faith. God’s got your back. You are not forgotten.

We all experience a little rain sometime. Remember the sun is going to come out. What is for you is for you.

If you’re looking around and noticing abundance and blessings for others, know that you are deserving of those things as well. Why shouldn’t you be blessed? Why shouldn’t you have abundance? If you do your part, God will do his. The Bible says, Faith without works is dead (James 2:26).

Let go of comparing yourself to your neighbor. Instead cheer for your friend and continue your journey. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Why not you? Trials and triumph are part of the marathon.

Stay the course friend; your triumph is on the horizon.

Peace and Blessings,

Stephanie