Opportunities:Yep/Nope Challenge

What Do You Do with the Opportunities that You’ve Been Given?

Hello there! It’s been a few weeks since my last blog post. Sending my apologizes for not keeping up. Between work, home, social media posts, and expanding my biz life got a little busy. I can say that I’ve been sharing words of wisdom and encouragement on my IG and FB pages. If you’re needing some support and positivity head over and like Professor Epps.

Now back to the subject at hand: Opportunities. Opportunities are circumstances that arise and make something else possible. Opportunities are vast and varied. Opportunities include additional time, promotions, leadership, and more.

I was talking with my mother a couple of days ago about the students of Morehouse College that had their student loans paid off. We discussed what a blessing that was and how that opportunity can set the foundation for those gentlemen’s freedom.

What opportunities have you received this year? What opportunities are you manifesting that lead toward freedom? Over the last 2 months I have received multiple requests to speak at workshops and on podcasts. Let me be real with you….it felt nice to be wanted, especially after the cancellations of events due to COVID-19. My spirit was ignited when I received the e-mails. However, I did get discouraged because I couldn’t attend them all and honestly, I didn’t want to say yes to each opportunity. 

I teach protecting your peace and living intentionally. I believe in mindfulness and knowing your “why”. Every opportunity does not require or deserve a yes. Every opportunity does not lead you into the path of possibility, truth, or freedom. If “it” doesn’t uplift you or bring light, it’s not for you.

When you aren’t sure if you should say yes to new opportunities, take 15-30 minutes and jot down a pros and cons list. If your pros outweigh your cons you have your answer.

Live in truth. Live in peace. Live with intention. What God has for you is for you. Saying NO to 1 opportunity, opens your spirit to a bigger YES.

I have included a “Yep/Nope” Pros and Cons list for you. If you know who E-40 is or if you’re on TikTok you know the Yep/Nope challenge. Play E-40’s song, Choices and ask yourself some yes/no questions while you complete your pros and cons list. This is a lighthearted way to obtain clarity on those big opportunities or decisions. If you’re feeling “extra” you can make your 1st or 50th TikTok.

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Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

Last week I turned 35. At the start of 2020, I had chosen this year to be “the year of I am.” I had so many plans for 2020—but you know what happens when you plan things, right? The plans often don’t go the way you hope. I was supposed to go to London, Paris, and Bali this year; but of course, I didn’t make it to those places. I had planned to travel and push my business to the next level. Unfortunately, COVID-19 put a halt to those plans. At first, I was devastated emotionally due to the effects COVID-19 had on my patients, my friends, and my business. 

It took me some time to pivot and adjust my attitude regarding the pandemic and its effect on my life. However, when I made the conscious decision to let go of sadness and negativity, I was able to see opportunity. I was able to see growth. I was able to appreciate the blessings and abundance that stood before me. 

Attitude is everything. When you’re in a negative space, all you see is negative. If you’re like me and are usually a kind-hearted, giving, supportive, and positive person, you can quickly recognize when your energy and emotions are out of sorts. You begin to have poor sleep, eating, and wellness habits; and you know what that leads to right? Depression, anxiety, and anger.

It is imperative that you pull yourself up and out of that negative space or otherwise it will take over your thoughts, attitude, and physical wellness. Your wellness depends on your internal health just as much as your external. If you’re in a sad place or have baseline depression or anxiety you must be in tune with you. You must be able to quickly recognize the signs of depression before you get to that place of sadness or of anger. 

It’s time to find ways to flip the switch from “why me” or “why is their life better than mine.” It’s time to change your attitude to one of “I am blessed”, “I am grateful”, “I am resilient”, “I am empowered.” You’re probably saying that’s easier said than done. However, if you choose to be open to the idea positivity, the idea of affirmations and mantras, you just might begin to feel and see the difference.

Since January 1, 2020, I have typed an “I am” affirmation/statement/mantra on my social media, hence “the year of I am” I mentioned earlier. Each “I am” statement guides my day. Sometimes, I return to my preferred affirmation (I am peace) and repeat it quietly to myself throughout the day.

Repeating that affirmation uplifts my spirits and allows me to walk in grace and in peace with my colleagues, my friends, and my patients. I have grown to be able to show compassion, grace, and understanding in new heights this year. It feels good to be able to hold space for people and be at peace with myself.

I’m going to give you 5 affirmations you can repeat to yourself or journal about over the next few weeks. I invite you to pick one and say it to yourself every day for the remainder of the year. At the end of 2020, let me know how that affirmation has changed your life. If you choose to commit. If you choose to change your attitude and be up to something bigger than yourself, you will change your life.

I changed my attitude and it changed my life. I let go of anger and sadness regarding 2020 and chose to be happy; I chose to be thankful for where I am right now and for the people who impact my life. For my 35th birthday I went to the mountains and visited wineries with some of my closest friends. If you’re in Georgia, make sure to visit Fainting Goat Vineyard and Enghelheim Vineyards. We hiked, laughed, danced, practiced yoga, and sang our hearts out. It was the perfect way to restore, reset, and refresh our minds, hearts, and bodies.

Change your attitude, change your life.

Below are your 5 affirmations to repeat and journal on.

1. I am strong

2. I am happy

3. I am peace

4. I am worthy

5. I am resilient

Do You Need A Personal Sabbatical? Do You Need To Rest?

This summer I took a “mini personal sabbatical”. If you’re not quite sure what a sabbatical is, let me you. In the traditional since, a sabbatical is when a person takes an extended period of time away from work (1 year+) with paid leave (sometimes unpaid).  Sabbatical’s are well known in academia. Tenured professors in large institutions or who complete a lot of research take time away from the university with approval for their leadership.

Here’s the truth: I haven’t worked in academia for 20 years, nor am I published researcher. I’m a clinician and young professor, with ideas and a drive to expand beyond the limits of the classroom, and teach the importance of holistic and collaborative care to my students.

I’ve been teaching a few years now; but as you know, in addition to working in academia, I’m a nurse practitioner, an entrepreneur and most importantly a wife and a mom. I wear a lot of hats; and I do a lot of things. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed managing it all. 

Since I begin teaching, I have worked year-round; I have taught spring, summer, and fall and also worked my NP job year-round. Towards the end of the spring 2020 semester faculty were contacted about teaching in the summer. I initially responded that I was available and willing to teach.

BUT Friend let me tell you……after I hit submit on that e-mail, I felt a heaviness in my spirit. I kept thinking to myself, “Steph you’re doing too much, COVID-19 is rampant, your business has taken a huge hit (negatively), and your husband and daughter need you.” After about 5 days of poor sleep habits and constantly having this conversation with myself, I talked with my spouse and said, “I don’t want to teach this summer, I need a break.” He said he understood, and it was fine with him.

I took another couple of days to think about it and e-mailed my leadership that I wanted to withdraw my ability to teach courses during summer 2020. I didn’t know where I was going to make up my salary, but I knew that God would provide. I knew that I had to protect my peace. I had to advocate for myself, just as I advocate for my patients and my students. Advocating for me, was relaxing, breathing, practicing restorative yoga, diving deep into my meditation practice and self-study.

I took 3 months off from teaching and poured my time and energy into resting, connecting with my husband, and pivoting my business. I was able to work 2-3 days a week at my practice and did not have any concerns about my income.  My spirit was restored; I was able to contribute to my family, and able to support my business.

Are you tired? Are you stressed out? Are you overwhelmed? Do you need to rest? Are you clueless on what it means to rest and restore?

If you answered yes to at least 1 of those questions, it is time to refill your cup. Maybe, you can’t, take a mini personal sabbatical or a long professional sabbatical; but what you can do is learn to relax and restore.

Join me for Resilient Moms: Self-Care Series 

Resilient Moms is a 4 week livestream group relaxation series where you will learn the foundations of deep stretching through yin yoga and learn to rest through restorative yoga and meditation. Now is the time to:

Breathe

Destress &

Relax

Here’s the deal:

You are powerful and resilient. Friend it is time to step into your power and join in this 4-week series where you will focus on your own self-care and have space to breathe.

You will receive weekly guides and access to a private Facebook group for support and encouragement to commit to your self-care journey. If you miss a week don’t worry, you will receive a link with the recorded session.

Dates: Sunday 5PM-6:15PM, 9/6, 9/13, 9/20, 9/27

Investment: $95

Use discount code “resilient” for 20% off this series.

If you’re not a mom but need to rest and restore you can join as well.

You deserve rest. You deserve peace of mind. You deserve to relax. Be A Yes to your own self-care and join me in the practice of rest and resiliency.

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You Can't Do Life Alone

2020 has been a beast. I thought 2019 was crazy, but OMG 2020 came in hot and it’s gotten hotter. COVID-19, cultural appropriation, protests, riots, killing of transgender people, loss of jobs, social distancing, quarantine, and the loss of communication and connection with friends and family--are just a few of the things we have all had to manage.

I know that you have been impacted by so much this year. Sadness, anger, grief, and anxiety are just a few words that many people have shared with me regarding how they have felt throughout the year.

I imagine this year has been difficult to navigate emotionally and physically. I have a few questions for you: how are you managing it all? How are you protecting your peace? Have you been able to connect with friends and family from a distance? If you haven’t now is the time. Choose today rather than waiting until tomorrow. Day 1>one day.

I shared with you a few weeks ago that I had a zoom girl’s night with some of my closest friends this summer. It was great. We have a group text feed that has been an essential way we have communicated.

I have been trying to consistently check in via text and telephone with friends and family to let my people know they are not alone. In this season of social distancing, quarantine, and loss it is easy to feel alone and that you have to do it all. I know you are STRONG, CAPABLE, and INDEPENDENT.

But friend remember, you DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL. You can take time to for you. It’s okay to step back and ask for help. Call or text a friend and let them know you need a listening ear or some extra support.

This past week in our Goal Setting Roadmap to Success program we talked about support systems and accountability.  According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a “support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.” A support system for this journey of life is a requirement. Support goes beyond working toward a goal. Support is needed to make it through the trials of life. Support is needed to combat the loneliness of quarantine.

My friend you cannot do life alone. When you are seeking freedom from sadness, guilt, and loss, you need a person or your people.  Although, I am one of the “strong friends” I too feel sad on occasion and need up lifting.

I am so blessed to have people who check on me and send me prayers and positive thoughts. I called a friend of mine this week and just shared with her how I was feeling down. I didn’t need her to do anything but just to be there. And guess what, that’s just what she did. She listened and held space for me. It was cathartic and the perfect reminder that we all need support.

Friend if you haven’t checked in on your people in a while because life is busy, take a moment to send a quick text or call. If you need a little extra support let go of fear, let go of idea of judgement, and let your person know you need them.

Remember you cannot do life alone. We rise by lifting each other up. Know that I’m here for you too. We can chat over tea via zoom or skype if you need.

Sending peace and light during the storm.

Just a few of my people.

Just a few of my people.

A Hard Truth of a Working Mom

Mom life isn’t easy. Yep, I said it. If you’re a mom, you know it’s true. If you’re a stay at home mom, work from home mom, or if you’re a mom working outside the home, you know momming ain’t easy. As a mother you care for your child, your partner (if you have one), your pet (if you have one), your home, and hopefully make sometime for yourself. Unfortunately, the self-care aspect of mom life often doesn’t happen.

I’m going to share something with you. It’s one of my hard truths and I’ve made peace with it. I’m a working mom and sometimes I don’t want to do anything. After I have commuted nearly an hour to work, worked 10-12 hours, and commuted an hour home, I sometimes don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to cook, I don’t want to exercise, I don’t want to clean, or do anything that requires expending energy.

Does anyone else feel this way? I’m sure I’m not alone with these feelings. I imagine that you or another mom you know has felt this way at one point or another. GUESS WHAT!! IT’S OKAY!! These feelings are normal. Do not feel bad for wanting to just chill when you get off work. Don’t feel guilty for wanting some quiet time for yourself. Sis, you deserve it.

If you have been home all day, cooking, cleaning, and teaching your child….you deserve some time for you. If you have been working from home, trying to teach your child, and manage your household, you too deserve to some time to relax. If you have been at work all day, coordinated child pick up/dinner, etc you also deserve some time for yourself.

It doesn’t matter if you stay at home, work from, or work outside the home, whichever of these roles apply to you, know that you are important. Know that you worthy of self-care. Know that your feelings and need for time for yourself are valid.  Sis, I’m right there with you and so are thousands of mothers around the world.

 Friend it’s time to drop the feelings of guilt, uncertainty, and anxiety. It’s time to say yes to your own needs. It’s time to say yes to happiness, joy, peace, freedom, and abundance. You deserve these things. You are worthy.

I invite you to take a few moments for yourself throughout the week and love on you. Everyone can’t get massage or go to a spa for self-care, so I’m going to give you 5 things you can do just for you:

1. Once a week take long bath or hot shower, with the door locked and don’t let anyone in (yes friend: no kids, partners, dogs, etc…no one can enter).

2. Get out in nature, even if it’s just a 15-minute walk by yourself or with your bestie.

3. Have a Zoom/Skype/Facetime Girls night.

4. Choose to not do anything for anyone after 5PM (maybe this just happens once a month—give it a try).

5. Read a book or binge watch your favorite tv show.

You may look at this list and say there’s no way I can do all of these things every week. But maybe you can do 1 of them each week or maybe pick 2 items from this list to incorporate into your self-care goals for the month of July.

If you’re in need of some extra relaxation techniques that you can do at home let me know and I’ll give you my free relaxation guide .

I’m sending you big bear hugs and positive thoughts across the miles. If you know me in real life—you know I’m a hugger—yeah hugs are kind of my thing.

I hope you have an amazing week and a joyful second half of 2020.

With Gratitude,

Stephanie

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SELF CARE: I Converted My Laundry Room into My Zen Den

Hey Fam!

I’m a wife, working mom, and small business owner. I pour my time and energy into other people every day—my family, my patients, my students, and my yoga clients. When I get home from a long day I want to chill out and do nothing. Sound familiar? Do you also make time for everyone else but don’t have time for you?

 Well fam, let me tell you—in my house everyone has a space to relax and enjoy; princess has a play room (it used to be my reading nook) and my husband has a billiards room. I felt that I didn’t have a space for myself—a place just for me to breathe and be. So, over the last few months I felt the need to design a child free, spouse free area for myself.

The Zen Den has been in my heart and on my mind for a while. I wanted my own oasis of peace; somewhere I could go to chill and relax alone. On Mother’s Day 2020, The Zen Den came to exist.

My Zen Den is a laundry room conversion……well actually the washer and dryer are still in the space but my hubby helped me remove all the clutter and storage, and organize and design the area to fit my needs. The Zen Den isn’t fancy or something off of HGTV, but it is perfect for me.

I have my spin bike set up, ceiling fans, my yoga mat, cushions, blankets, my singing bowls, drum, ukulele, and some of my plant babies in one space. Over the last four weeks I have been able to relax, exercise, and work on growing my small business in the Zen Den. 

I told my husband and daughter that when the door to the Zen Den is closed that no one can enter unless it is an emergency (lol…yep I sure did). This is called self-care and protecting my peace. Friend, you too can tell your family or friends you need space. It is not selfish to put your needs first. It is not selfish to acknowledge that you need to refill your cup. It is not selfish to relax or relish in some alone time.

Once you realize that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s, you can let go of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty regarding your self-care needs. You deserve some time for you. You deserve peace. You deserve rest. You deserve restoration. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

I implore you to find a self-care regimen and release any guilt that arises regarding your needs. You are important. You are worthy. You are deserving. 

Sending virtual hugs,

Stephanie

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In Order to Heal You Must Feel

Sickness, Job loss, Depression, Anxiety, Anger, Stress, Uncertainty--Do these words resonate with you? Friend, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. As a wife, mom, healthcare provider, and wellness + personal growth advocate, I have experienced these emotions as well.

With the murder of George Floyd, men and women around the world have a heightened sense of anger, disappointment, and fear.  People are responding by protesting and rioting.

Friend we have a choice to come together as one for humanity. We must use our voices to uplift each other, transform as individuals, and as a nation. Transformation starts inside. 

Are you ready to drop what you know and step into possibility? In order to heal we must feel. Healing begins with self and spreads outwardly to family, friends, and communities.

Beginning Monday, June 1, 2020 I am hosting a free virtual event for 30 days of transformation. 30 days of transformation is designed to set a foundation for clarity, peace, stamina, and strength. These life practices are needed so that you can move forward into healing and into your destiny.

My hope is that the clarity and strength that you find in the next 30 days, not only helps you individually, but translates into your relationship with friends and colleagues, and moreover into your community. 

Now you may be asking, “What is 30 days of transformation?”  Friend, 30 days of transformation is an opportunity to delve deep within yourself and works towards becoming the best person you can be.

30 days of transformation is a journey of movement, meditation, and reflection. I will offer you a daily topic to reflect or journal on, a 5-minute meditation, and 5 sun salutations. If yoga isn’t your jam you can complete any other type of physical activity (walking, running, cycling, swimming, golf, etc).

During these 30 days, you will set a goal or a dream that will help fuel your desire to complete this journey of transformation. Write down your goal and look back over it during this next month.

You will not be alone over the next 30 days. I will be here to support you. Our community of transformation participants will be supporting you and holding you accountable for moving forward into a place of possibility, peace, and prosperity.

I will be sharing the daily topic for reflection and meditation on my Facebook Page (Professor Epps) and on my Instagram (Professor Epps). If you have any questions don't hesitate to send me a message or you can email me directly at stephanie@professorepps.com .

If you know anyone who would benefit from this journey of transformation, share this blog post with them.

With Gratitude,

Stephanie

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Start your 30 days of transformation

Demystifying Yoga

Demystifying Yoga

Demystifying Yoga: Yoga Facts or Fiction?

Hey Friend! I’m sure you have read or heard all sorts of things about what yoga is or isn’t. In its simplest definition, yoga means to unite or yoke. There are 8 limbs of yoga. You likely mostly know about the physical postures or meditation. The practice of yoga is much more than moving your body or sitting in stillness. Yoga is a philosophy that is designed to help us be our best selves. This practice unites our mind, body, and spirit.

Today I’m going to give you 5 Statements regarding yoga. I want you to guess if it’s fact or fiction.

1. I must be flexible to do yoga.

FICTION

False! False! False! Friend you do not, I repeat you do not need to be flexible to do yoga. The physical yoga practice can be accessible for everyone. You can use different tools such as blocks, straps (think a belt), and chairs to help make the physical postures more comfortable for your body.

2. Yoga is only for women.

FICTION

False again! Yoga was originally practiced and taught by men. In the US, we see more women than men practicing yoga. However, men need yoga just as much as women.

3. Yoga can improve my health.

FACT

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yoga has been found to improve cardiovascular function, strength, pain, anxiety, depression, and more. Physicians, Advanced Practice Providers, and Physical Therapists often suggest yoga as a health and wellness options for their patients.

4. I have to sit completely still when I meditate.

FICTION

Another falsehood! When you meditate, find a comfortable seat or position and use any props that allow you to maintain your position. You can adjust or scratch an itch if it arises. All you need to do is return to recognizing your breath and focus on being in the moment.

5. Yoga is a religion.

FICTION

You’re probably saying, really? Steph, are you sure it’s not a religion? Yes, I am sure. Yoga does have ancient root and ties to Hinduism, however it is not a religion. Once again, Yoga is not a religion. In actuality, yoga is a philosophy that guides your way of living. The ultimate goal of the practice it to be the best person that you can be from within. Yoga is not about outer worship but exploring the depths of your being.

Let’s tally up your points. How many answers did you get correct?

5 answers correct: You are well informed about yoga

4 answers correct: You know some facts about yoga

3 or less answers correct: You learned a few things after reading this blog.

I appreciate you taking a few minutes to open your mind to learn a few truths about yoga. If you’re interested in joining me for some yoga and wellness tutorials. Head on over to my YouTube page (Professor Epps) and get started on your yoga journey.

Hair Love, Self-Love

What does your hair look like? Is it curly or straight? Do you have long locks, a big fro, a pixie cut, a teenie afro, a buzz cut, or perhaps no hair?

Do you love your hair? Friend, I love my curls. Let me say it again, I L-O-V-E my curls. I have had natural hair for 17 years. Wow! The time has flown. My hair has been a variety of lengths and colors. I have had braids, a relaxer, and extensions throughout my life.

The last 2 years I have worn protective styles because I am one of those ladies that do #allthethings. My schedule is jam packed all day, every day so having a protective style such as crochet or braids has been my go-to. I’m usually running 90 to nothing when my feet hit the ground. Therefore, I prefer ease and convenience when I’m getting ready for the day.

If you have natural hair, big curly hair, or long hair you know that the morning hair care routine can take some time. I have talked to several women who have developed a variety of shortcuts to decrease hairstyling time. I was all about the shortcuts, “hacks” and protective styles until January 2020.

In January, my 4-year old daughter made some statements about her hair that made me sad. Princess has the softest and cutest curls that my mother and I style in different ways. In January my kiddo said she wanted long yellow hair. She said long hair (referring to straight hair) is better. She made several other statements that broke my heart. Of course, I immediately countered her statements of doubt and feelings of lack with positive words, but I didn’t think it was enough.

Prior to January, I thought I was doing a good job showing and telling my daughter that she was kind, smart, and beautiful inside and out. I thought I was doing a good job exposing her to diverse groups of people and entertainment. However, this experience showed me that I wasn’t doing enough. I am a firm believer in empowerment, self-love, self-worth, and fearlessness.

In that moment I knew that my work on self-care, empowerment and self-worth needed to be redirected to my home. I’ve been doing so much for others, that I didn’t realize I was falling short with one of the most important people in my life.

After repeated conversations of encouragement and voicing positive affirmations with my child, I vowed something had to change. If I wanted my child to love her natural curls, then I needed to make the extra effort to style my natural hair and give her more fun hair styles.

If you have heard of Matthew Cherry, you know of his short film “Hair Love” that was developed into a book that is now a New York Times Best Seller. I ordered this book for my child and we read it at least 2-3 times a week. We also have watched several YouTube videos, where I have allowed princess to choose different styles for her hair. I have returned to having natural styles as well. I am not a hair guru by any means, but my stylist that specializes in natural hair is. I have been going to see Ebony and she’s been styling my hair and my child loves the different styles.

My daughter has been commenting on the styles and saying she wants hair like mine or the styles in the “Hair Love” book. Although going to the salon more frequently is time consuming, it is worth it.

For 2020, my goal is to be intentional. Choosing to style my hair in different ways is intentional. I must be an example for my child. If I want her to love herself as she is, then I must outwardly show that I love myself as I am (i.e. my hair).

Self-love and self-worth start at an early age. I know that I must pour positive affirmations and thoughts into my child, just as I pour into my wellness community. If you’re a parent, aunt/uncle, mentor, or friend of a child or young adult ask yourself how do you demonstrate self-love and self-worth. What things do you do and say that show you love yourself and the child as they are?

Your child (mentee, niece/nephew, cousin, friend) needs to love themselves and they look to you for guidance in self-worth. If you’re like me and life is crazy, choose to take the extra time to be intentional with your words, actions, and time. Making the decision to let go of protective styles and bond with my daughter over our hair, has allowed me to be a better parent, a better person, and a better self-love advocate.

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Reminder: You Don’t Have to Be Skinny to Practice Yoga

Over the last few weeks I have returned to recording yoga videos and wellness tutorials. I chose to design these videos as a way to help people navigate the practice of yoga and glean knowledge on a holistic approach to wellness. However, I’ve been struggling with watching myself on the videos. Ummmmmmm yeah me, your extroverted, happy go lucky, empowerment, positive speaking, lover of life, encourager of others friend.

I too battle the outward image, the ego, and self-worth based on appearance. I try not to live in the past but it’s hard not to. I was in tiptop shape, physically, mentally, and spiritually before my daughter was born. I think I was most happy with myself up until about 7 months into my pregnancy. My partner and I were in such an amazing place in our marriage, I was working a job I loved (although it wasn’t easy), and I was physically in excellent health. Before pregnancy, I was a lean size 4 with a 4pack, 17% body fat, running marathons, practicing yoga, and spending time with the people I loved most.

After princess was born it was hard to figure out how to balance the increasing responsibilities of work, being a wife and a mom, and exercising. My self-care has been up and down for about 3 years. During that time, I chose to pursue my doctorate and open my yoga studio. Now you’re thinking “what the heck is wrong with you Steph, why would you take on more when you were already overwhelmed.” Friend, I chose to purse my doctorate because I transitioned into higher education and I needed a terminal degree. I opened Indigo Soul because I felt I was led to have a safe place on the southside for a diverse group of people to embrace the practice of yoga as a lifestyle and not just exercise.   

In 2019, I started truly working on me. I am usually the person who pours energy, light, and love into others. This goes for my family, friends, college students, patients, and yoga students. Last year I began to focus on me. I’ve been working from the inside-out and it hasn’t been easy. I have been working out at Orange Theory Fitness and have been focused on my internal and external yoga practice.

I know you all know that yoga surpasses your physical abilities and how you look. This is something I tell my yoga students and friends all the time. Yoga is a philosophical lifestyle that teaches you to be the best person for yourself and for this world. The saying “treat others how you want to be treated” is appropriate for yoga because that’s what it is: truthfulness, non-violence, non-possessiveness, vitality, contentment, purity, self-study, discipline, and devotion to something greater.

Although, I know that yoga doesn’t care about your size or abilities, my personal insecurities came to light with recording the yoga tutorials. This past Saturday I recorded a video explaining high crescent lunge and low lunge. The first thing I said when I saw the first 20 seconds of the video was “oh my arms look huge.” This was followed by, “Where’s my other shirt, I need a long sleeve shirt.” Yes, me, Stephanie, I said those things. Next, I said “okay great my shirt and pants are black; black makes you look slimmer.” My nephew is the coordinator for my studio and he’s a tech guru, so of course he helps me with the videos. Friend, picture this, a 19-year-old male shaking his head and saying, “who told you that” (referring to wearing black). I proceeded to say, “fashion and marketing.” He then says, “you look great and the video was awesome.”

At the time, I wasn’t hearing him, periodt (in my Rickey Thompson voice). His statement went in one ear and out the other. We proceeded to re-record the video (because I was adamant it had to be redone) and I shared it on YouTube and on my studio’s private Facebook group. Over the last 4-5 weeks of recording videos my self-consciousness has come up a few times, but I think this last week was the worst.

I wasn’t going to share all my personal issues regarding my outward appearance with you; but one of my best friends commented on this specific video about how beautiful I looked and that I’m beautiful inside and out. Unbeknownst to her, this comment was the push I need to speak on this topic. As a leader, teacher, healthcare provider and wellness advocate I know that wellness and health are not based on appearance. I know that the practice of yoga is not about my physical being but the deeper work that I am doing.

However, I felt led to share that I, along with many of you deal with self-consciousness related to weight. I choose not to remain in a negative headspace related to my size. Instead I choose to encourage myself to continue my journey of self-care, health, and wellness one day at a time. I’m not skinny but I am strong inside and out. Yes, I can complete advanced asana (yoga poses), but what’s so much more important is that I’m allowing my light to shine through work in my studio and on my job. I have the privilege of helping men and women like you realize that they are worthy, important, and deserve self-care.

Friend, this blog serves as a reminder to you and to me that outward appearance does not determine our worth or ability to change lives. You (we) don’t have to be skinny to do yoga. The real work of yoga is in changing our mindset and attitude towards ourselves and towards others.

As I tell my students, “Do the work.” That’s the only way anything changes. Do the internal work to become your best self.

In a moment of full transparency, here’s the original photo from last weeks video.

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I’m Black & Most of My Yoga Students Are White

I’m a 34-year old African-American female and I own a yoga studio. I live OTP. If you’re not from ATL, that’s outside of the perimeter of Interstate 285. I-285 is an interstate that loops the Atlanta city limits. My studio is about 30 minutes from Atlanta but still considered “metro Atlanta.”

Atlanta is hot right now. Many people are relocating for opportunity, advancement, affordable living, and abundant possibility. To balance work, life, and all the things people have turned to the practice of yoga. Yoga is a mind, body, and spirit wellness practice. The city of Atlanta has tons of yoga studios. The burbs’ have fewer options for places to practice yoga.

For many years, US marketing suggested that yoga was meant for young, thin, middle-upper class white women. It’s only been about 5 years that companies have diversified their marketing to include plus size, people of color, veterans, men, first responders, children, and older adults. I applaud organizations for finally trying to remove their blinders to the disparity and misinformation regarding who yoga is for.

Yoga as a wellness practice is life changing. I opened my studio, Indigo Soul Yoga to help people recognize the brilliance and power that lie within their soul. ISY in its infancy was an outlet for people to be and live in authenticity. I never thought about race or gender. It wasn’t until 2019 where it really hit me that I’m black, yet have very few black yoga students.  

When I started my company, I wanted people on the southside to have access to yoga without having to drive into the city. Let me give you some history, Indigo Soul Yoga, LLC was formed in December 2016 from my home. I used to offer classes on Saturday and Sunday. Most of the people that came to my classes were black women. There were a few Hispanic, bi-racial and white women that attended but mostly black. Every blue moon one of the ladies would bring their male partner/spouse to class. As I moved from my home to sublet another space the students changed; there were more white people and more athletes. Most of the students who attended classes at my house stopped coming….and most haven’t come back (reality of small business).

When I opened my first brick and mortar studio in 2017, I was a solopreneur. The day my studio opened there were quite a few people of color who attended, several of which were friends who wanted to show support. After the grand opening most of the students who came through the doors were white women, with a periodic sprinkling of brown/black, and a few men here and there.

One year later I relocated to a larger space with more foot traffic, more students, more teachers, and more classes. I have a diverse team of teachers, white, black, Hispanic, male, female, ages 20-60, and with varying political opinions. What has remained constant over time, is that most of the students are white women (early 30s-40s). I probably have as many men that attend class on a regular basis as black women. I am usually one of those people who don’t look at race and just take people as they are. However, while completing my doctoral studies and analyzing data which included race and gender, I began to think about these 2 factors in my own organization.

On a global scale, I want people to feel safe, comfortable, and informed in my studio. Most people who attend classes say they feel welcome, challenged, and educated on options for poses, meditation, and breath work. What I don’t understand is why the brown/black women who start attending class don’t continue. I find this fact interesting, as most men (black and white) who attend classes continue as their schedule allows but the women of color don’t. In the past I have offered $5 yoga, free yoga in the park, and other discounts to help make yoga affordable for all people. I have spoken to other yoga studio owners and yoga teachers and have received interesting advice such as, “offer trap yoga,” “offer sensual yoga,” “offer twerk yoga,” “sex-ed,” and more.

I have to say those are great ideas, but they aren’t me. I have to remain true myself. If I want my students to stand in authenticity and speak their truth, then I must do the same. I’m not one for gimmicks and tricks. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy trap music, but trap yoga isn’t the direction I’m meant to go. If I plan to own my studio, my brand, and be an ever evolving me, trap/twerk/sensual yoga isn’t going to be part of the plan when I’m 60 years old.

I have taught urban flow and hip-hop yoga before. They were fun classes but not something that I want to offer 7 days a week. I have offered and will continue to offer specialty events and workshops that align with my spirit and that of my organization. Over the last several months, I have continued to think what can be done to reach more people of color and men. I have received ideas of reaching out to male dominant organizations, as well as organizations that focus on people of color. I have made some contacts, but they didn’t result in class attendance.

One of my teachers, Octavia Raheem told me “keep doing what you’re doing. It matters and makes a difference. We don’t plant seeds and reap harvest in the same season.” This statement was so powerful that I reflect back on it frequently. When entrepreneurship gets hard, I remind myself to continue planting the seeds and watering them; my harvest will come.

After reading all of this you are likely saying, “so now what; you still don’t have many black women or men coming to your classes.” My response is oh well. I am doing the work that I have been called to do. What I have learned over the last 3 years is that every student is not my student. Students come and go. Those who stay are meant to be for a season and I know that they too will go on. In my spirit, I know I have been called to work and pursue my passion of wellness and empowerment through yoga, meditation, and rest.

I now realize that I must remain steadfast and true to my core values and mission. The people that I am meant to reach will be reached. The lives I am meant to help change will be changed. I choose to continue to do the work. I choose to continue to show up for my students. If there are 20 students or 1 student, each receives 110% from me.

If you are a woman of color or man that desires to grow in your yoga practice, I’m here for you. If you are not a woman of color, or a man, I am here for you as well. My studio has a motto “All are welcome here.” I desire for all people and all abilities to have access to yoga, just like all people need access to healthcare. If you have questions on starting a yoga practice in person, or from home feel free to drop me a message and I’ll be happy to help you.

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2019 basically said, "But Did you Die Though?"

Hey Fam!! It’s 2020 and I am sooooooo ready for all the goodness that this year has to offer. 2019 was ROUGH. Let me tell you again, 2019 was ROUGH. During a few father-daughter advice chats, my father has told me, “If you haven’t had a lil’ rain, wait a while.” You may be asking, what does that even mean? Well, let me tell me you; it means, if you haven’t had some bad days, just wait because you will experience a bad day; we all go through rough seasons, but we can overcome them.

Fam let me tell you, 2019 brought the rain, the storm, the hurricane, and then some! But I survived! We survived! We made it through! I know several of you responded to my last self-care blog sharing that life had been crazy and you let your self-care practice go. Well, I’m here to tell you, you are not alone.

In 2019, life tried to get the best of me. The outside world tried to bring me down, BUT I didn’t let it keep me down. I dealt with the crap and bad experiences. I dealt with the sadness, the self-doubt, the negative talk, and the idea that I’m not enough. I have dealt with all the bad juju and am ready to receive the abundance that God and the universe has for me. Are you ready to step into greatness? Are you ready to choose abundance? I’m talking about abundance of joy, peace, happiness, love, and wellness. As a bonus, I’m sure you are okay receiving abundance of finances too….I know I am; LOL!

Now, you may be thinking, here she comes with that “New Year, New Me” stuff; but no friend, that’s not what I’m about to say. Not at all. I let go of that “New Year, New Me” and “New Year’s Resolutions” stuff a few years ago. Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean I or you need to change or resolve to do something or become someone else.

Rather than resolving to do or be, I have chosen to live intentionally. I choose to live with the intention of being mindful and of being present in my self-care. I choose to live with the intention of self-love, of kindness, and of charity. I know that living intentionally will lead to the abundance and freedom that I deserve and that you deserve. I invite you to live intentionally, be present, and show up for yourself.

My 2020 has started off on a positive note. I feel at peace. I have joy. I’m in a really positive place with my spouse, my job, and with my business. As a small business owner, it’s a huge accomplishment to be able to pay all the expenses from the business account rather than from my family’s personal account. Two years later, my studio is finally in the black (#bigdeal) and I’m pumped. I’m not saying ISY is rolling in dough…..let’s be real I won’t be resigning from my employer, but it’s nice to finally see the tiny financial growth, when I’ve worked extremely hard to share the healing properties of yoga and meditation.

Here’s another positive tidbit for 2020: Two days ago, a local magazine, We Are Henry, published an article that I am featured in. The title of the article is “Movement as a Medicine.” When I saw the article, I teared up. It felt amazing to see my passion for wellness, yoga, and meditation on paper.

Let me tell you guys something, two years ago when I opened my first free standing studio, I wanted to advertise in this magazine, but I couldn’t afford it. You see how patience, persistence, and intentions pays off? I received a call in the Fall of 2019 about a wellness and yoga interview for the magazine. When, they asked me, you know I said yes.

I met with the author, Aisha at Starbucks and we talked and laughed for at least an hour. The magazine’s photographer came to one of my heated classes to take pictures for the article (he was surprised the class was hot) and I thought the photos would be awful because I was sweating like crazy and the class was sweating, so I just knew it was going to be a HOT mess (LOL). BUT fam I was wrong. I WAS WRONG. The pictures turned out amazing and the article was beautifully written.

If you’re still reading, I wrote all of the above to let you know it is important to live with intention. It is important to be patient, persistent, and resilient. When the dark days come, know that it’s not the end. You are not alone. The sun will come out again. Remember your self-care, remember your intentions.

If you enjoy yoga, or are interested in yoga, and are ready to set your intentions and visions for 2020 and beyond join me at my Yin Yoga & Vision Board Party on January 17th.

Sending you all love, light, and positive intentions for your year.

~Stephanie Epps

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Do you practice self-care? I thought I did until I found myself in a sad place.

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Do You Practice Self-Care?

Self-care, what does that mean? The terminology self-care and self-love are used frequently. Self-care has become a mainstream topic in wellness and healthcare. Self-care as defined by Merriam-Webster is “care for oneself.” Webster also states self-care is “health care provided by oneself often without the consultation of a medical professional.” Do you have any self-care practices that you weave into your daily activities?

I am a medical professional as well as a wellness advocate but unfortunately, I have found myself running on empty (queue Big Sean’s I Know). I have been pouring from an empty cup. I always tell my patients, my nursing students, and yoga students how important it is to take care of themselves. I always ask what they are doing to destress, to relax, and find some peace of their mind, body, and soul. Somehow, I stopped taking my own advice.

2019 has been a hard year for me. A lot of crappy stuff happened. I usually cope well, but this year not so much. My journaling slowed, my asana and meditation practice slowed, and my cardiovascular routine slowed. I went on a yoga retreat in November, hoping to bounce back but on the way there I received a telephone call with more bad news. I was thinking man when it rains it freaking pours. While I was internally dealing with all of these jacked up things, I didn’t talk about it and didn’t work through it in my usual ways. Instead I continued to do all the things as if nothing was wrong; I finished my doctorate, worked my full time and part-time job, taught 7-10 yoga classes a week, and managed my studio.

In doing all the things and internalizing my problems, I seem to have lost my self-care in the process. I somehow found myself in a place of sadness. I found myself judging myself, being less forgiving of myself, and overall having poor self-worth and self-care. Have you every fallen prey to negative thoughts? Have you ever wanted to inspire and help people but internally you were at a loss for inspiration?

I am now in a place where I must tell myself “Stephanie it’s your time, Steph you are only given one life and you have to live it.” “Steph you are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve all the good things that are to come.” As I repeat my affirmations, I reflect on the small changes I have incorporated now rather than waiting for 2020. If I desire to love me, to choose me, then today is the day to start. One month ago, I joined Orange Theory Fitness, I’ve returned to journaling, meditating, and asana. I’m slowly getting back to me. I’m navigating my way to health and happiness through self-care.

If you struggle with self-worth and self-care below are a 15-self-care practices you can incorporate into your life.

1. Affirmations/Mantras

2. Daily walk without music/cell phone

3. Meditation

4. Take a long bath/shower

5. Therapy/counseling

6. Yoga/meditation

7. Massage

8. Journal

9. Take your full lunch break at work

10. Use your vacation days (even if you are staying home)

11. Practice a full day of rest

12. Embrace stillness and quiet

13. Learn something new

14. Unplug from technology and social media for a day

15. Sleep

Stay Calm and Breathe: Words from a 3 year old

Guess what, I get anxious and nervous. Yes, me Stephanie, the yoga studio owner, the nurse practitioner, the professor, the healer. I am a light worker and feelings of anxiety and apprehension arise. My palms become wet, I began to sweat, and my heart rate rises. Are you surprised? If so, don’t be. We all get nervous in life; but what matters is how we respond. What matters is our coping mechanisms. How often do you feel anxious or nervous? What tools do you use to help?

About a month ago, I was involved in a car accident. My daughter and mother were passengers in the vehicle. This accident occurred less than a mile from my home…..not surprising as research says most accidents occur less than 5 miles from peoples’ homes. Let me tell you a brief overview of what happened.

I was driving home from having lunch with my mother and daughter. We were going through the green light when someone turned left rather than waiting. I slammed on brakes but there was nothing I could do to avoid the collision. The airbags deployed, my car was smoking, and I completely lost my breath for a moment. Then I realized Steph, get out of the car, get your family out of this car. I looked over to my mom and asked if she was okay. She said she thinks so, but she was hit in the head by the air bag. I took a deep breath and I heard my daughter crying. My mother said, Stephanie the car was smoking. I moved into action. I unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the car and hurriedly got my daughter out of her car seat. We went stand on the curb and 3 angels appeared. A couple in a truck were calling the police and asking if we were okay. Another lady was present saying she saw the accident and asking how she could help.

I was holding my three-year-old, she was so upset that’s she was crying uncontrollably. I held her and tried to comfort and told her that everything was going to be okay. She began to settle, and her cries were gentler. My mother was standing next to me and said, Steph your hand. I look down and the skin was off a portion of my right hand and wrist. There were others areas that were black and burned. I looked over to my left hand and there was a small burn there a well. I didn’t realize I was hurt but when I did the pain began. My hand began to feel as if it were burning from the inside out.

The fireman and paramedics arrived. They took me to the ambulance, treated my wound, and educated me on the airbag burn. I tried to listen to what they were saying but the pain was so severe. Other than childbirth I had never experienced such pain in my life. The first responders assessed my vital signs and as you would suspect my blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates were elevated. Often times in acute (new) pain this occurs. I tried to relax, and the heat just kept building. The paramedics tried to wrap my hand, but the pain intensified. It was as if the bandage trapped the heat inside my hand and I told the gentleman “you got to take this off. You’re making it worse.” He proceeded to remove the wrap and the pain decreased. His team gave me wound supplies but suggested I go to the pharmacy for other materials. I work in healthcare and I know how crazy the ER can be, so I took the paramedics advice in regard to home treatment versus going to the ER.  My daughter and mother were assessed as well. My mother had called my husband by this time. He had arrived, and we all left.

We proceeded to the local pharmacy less than .2 miles away. I stepped out of the car and the fire of hell sensation returned to my hand. I could literally feel my heart rate rising and my heart beating in my chest. I became short of breath and felt like I wasn’t going to make it into the store. My husband had already got my daughter out of the car. She looked at me and said “mommy, stay calm and breathe.”

That statement was the most profound words I could have heard in that moment. I looked at her and said, “thank you.” Stay calm and breathe was exactly what I needed to do to help myself relax and find a way to manage my pain and control my breathing.  You may be asking yourself did it help, and the answer is YES. Focusing on my breath and clearing my mind helped me control my breathing and better tolerate the pain.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing doctor’s, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants for this burn. The treatment plan is working, my hand is getting better. I should hopefully be out of the wrap in the next week or so.  

Beyond the plan of care from the healthcare personnel, what has been most helpful in my healing process is my daughters voice saying, “stay calm and breathe.” When life throws you a curve ball, when you feel anxious, pain, or completely unsure of what to do, I invite you to breathe. Close your eyes, allow your shoulders to fall away from your ears, and began to inhale and exhale slowly. Let your lungs fully inflate and deflate. Feel a since a calm wash over you. Know that you are okay. You will be okay. If mantras or affirmations resonate with your spirit, silently say to yourself, “I am calm, I am calm, I am calm.”

Stay Calm and Breathe.

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Social Media: Are You an Influencer?

Do you have social media? Do you check Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat on a regular basis? Social media has become one of the leading tools for communicating and marketing. I have accounts for IG and FB. I have friends with Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, and more. Navigating social media can be a daunting task. I barely have enough time to scroll IG and FB; so, adding other platforms is out of the question for me. I’m just trying to #getmylife and learn how to engage on my FB/IG pages.

 As an entrepreneur, I have made several attempts to listen to podcasts, read articles, and read PDF files on Facebook and Instagram. I could never figure out the algorithms of social media. Therefore, when Facebook offered the “Boost with Facebook” event I had to make it to a few of the classes. My dear friend, Nicole, owner of Crumbles by Nicole, and I attended this event together. The goal was to glean some knowledge on how to expand our reach and knowledge of these platforms. I learned about multiple facets of Facebook, including the pixel, boosted posts versus Facebook ads, planning content, cross advertising between Facebook and Instagram, and more.  

This event was free over the course of 2 days. There were several topics that I was well versed in; such as stories, insights, and messages, and more. However, I must say the time I spent at the event was worth it. I received some exclusive information at this event and met several small business owners from the Atlanta area. The networking alone increased my awareness of various affordable marketing avenues; how to speak to my audience and ignited my excitement on the work that I do. 

Now, you may be asking how many followers did I get after this event? Answer……none. Attending the boost event was to obtain information that I could implement over time that would lead to me reaching more people in various manners and ultimately make a difference in my community. There isn’t any get rich quick scheme or an exact “how to” manual.

You may be saying to yourself, Stephanie what was the purpose of attending the Boost with facebook event if you didn’t gain 100s of followers afterwards? The purpose was to listen and to learn. If I don’t sit still and listen, I can’t grow.  

And to be honest with you, I do not care about being a social media influencer or having thousands of followers. Life and entrepreneurship go beyond social media. My mission is to inspire, educate, and empower men and women through yoga, health, and wellness. I am passionate about connecting with people that need healing, peace, and joy. I know my purpose in life is to help people reach their full potential through a holistic approach to life and overall wellness.

 Mental, physical, and spiritual wellness are a requirement for health. Social media and followers do not dictate who I am or the work that I am meant to do. My goal has never been to be an influencer. I desire to be a friend, a mentor, and a light worker. What do you desire? What is your passion? What is your purpose? I invite you to look at your heart, reflect on your spirit, and see what you are called to do. Resist the urge to let social media or followers determine your worth. Stand in your truth. Stand in your power and know that you are meant for more, much more than what the internet tells you. 

Wherever your purpose and passion lie, that is where you must do the work. Share your story and your vision, but resist getting sucked into the rabbit hole of what social media tells you to be. Walk in your passion, walk in your purpose, and #dothework.

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Visions, Goals, Dreams

What is your dream? What is your vision? What goals do you have? A few weeks ago, I attended Off the Mat: Yoga in Your Life, a continuing education course that incorporated yoga philosophy and life coaching. This was a weekend of internal work and growth. I was gifted the ability to speak my “big” dreams and goals without feeling unworthy, incapable, or “silly.” Have you ever had a dream or goal that someone said you couldn’t accomplish? Have you ever been afraid to voice your dreams, to speak your truth? If so, you and I are one in the same. When we come from a place of fear rather than faith, we remain stagnant, we second guess, we hesitate, and we doubt. We doubt our abilities, our strength, our knowledge, and our expertise.

It is time put aside fear. It is time to come from faith. You are capable, you are worthy, you can do it. Anything you put your mind to, you can accomplish. That’s not to say that you won’t fall down or have bumps in the road…..because you will. Trust me, you will. But remember, anything worth having is worth working for. You may get 10 No’s before that 1 yes. You may not be able to figure out which way to turn during the process of reaching your goal, but the answer will show up. So, I encourage to sit with it. Sit with the discomfort, the unknowing and just feel it. Feel your heart beat and then receive. Receive the answers of the plan of how to get to that end goal. Your dreams and vision cannot be accomplished without putting in the work.

Speak your dream, speak your vision, and do the work. Allow that work to manifest into reality. Do not be afraid to speak your truth. Do not live in fear of what you will not have by pursuing your dream. The universe will provide. Dreams and vision do not come to pass without actions. There may be sacrifice, tears, and sleepless nights but in the end it will be worth it. Write down your 1, 5, and 10-year goals. Once you write them down look to see if they are related in some manner. If so, consider how the goal from year 1 will help prepare you for the goals of year 5 and year 10.

Once you have your goals written down and have reviewed any correlation it is time to write your plan and act. Do the work and take your next step into greatness. You were designed to do great things. Speak your vision to the world. Have faith. You are fearless. Breathe life into your dreams.

Pursuing a dream is for warriors. You are a warrior. You can stand strong, you can hear the word “no,” but it will not stop you from achieving your goal. “No” will only fuel the flame to move into your destiny. My friend it is time to showcase your gifts. It is time to share your gifts with the world. Do the work and be the change.

Since writing out my BIG dreams and visions for my family and my company I see the change. I have more time for family because that is what is important to me. I know my core values and that returns to fulfilling my dreams. My organization is moving in a positive financial direction. I am able to serve, to give, and to do more than I ever thought I could just a few weeks ago. As I continue to serve, my ability to give, to inspire, and to help empower people to step into their full potential continues to grow. So, I close with one of my favorite quotes: Faith over Fear. Faith must always supersede fear.  

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Heart Racing, Short of Breath, Stressed, & Anxious…..Tips to Relax and Find Calm

Do you have a high stress career? Do you have a stressful home life? If so, you may identify with my past experiences working full-time in a high stress job. You likely can use a few “tools” to add to your coping toolbox.  I used to work for my healthcare organization full-time; but a few years ago, I transitioned to PRN (as needed). Transitioning to PRN is much more manageable and has increased my enjoyment, satisfaction, and love for the job. I now work one day a week and pick up extra days and call to help out the team. Working 60 hours a week and taking call five, 24-hour call days a month in a level one trauma center was overwhelming, and it prevented be from being my best self. My spouse is a blessing and he always gives 100% at home and at work. His support made home life much better) but I still felt overwhelmed at home because of all the things I couldn’t do, because I didn’t energy or the desire after leaving work …it’s hard to have it all (wife, mother, career, etc). The goal of this blog is to share some techniques to help manage stress and allow your mind and body to relax.

Today is August 26th. It is the end of the month and I have taken 4 call days this month. I haven’t taken call in over 4 months and it was a shock to be back “in the trenches”. As an NP in my organization, call encompasses receiving in-patient and ER consults from a 600+ bed hospital, transfers from outside hospitals that need a higher level of care and consults on trauma patients. In addition, I have to answer nursing calls about patients, assist in surgery, and perform other procedures. It is a very rewarding job, but also very stressful and often times sad or emotionally draining. It’s a choice to work in healthcare. It is a choice to give selflessly and I love it. However, it in the past it has challenged my physical and emotional abilities to withstand the demand, the stress, and the loss of patients. This career has limited my availability for my family and ability to pour energy into others after being on call and working so many hours.

When I was full time at my organization and was on call 5 or more times per month, I felt depleted, drained, and utterly blank when it was over. Working PRN and incorporating yoga and meditation has improved my life and my overall well-being at work and outside of work. I have learned to manage the stress and to breathe through the overwhelming situations. This allows me to be level headed and feel a state of calm. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t look forward to being on call now. However, I have learned to use principles from yoga and pranayama (breathing techniques) to manage feelings of stress.

 I have several friends and colleagues who also work in healthcare and high stress jobs including the military and first responders. They have repeatedly told me they experience tachycardia (elevated heart rate), anxiety, and shortness of breath in their jobs. I have shared several breathing techniques with my friends to help manage the feelings of dread, stress, and anxiety.  Box breathing is my pranayama of choice when I am 10 consults in and still have many hours remaining of call. I have shared box breathing AKA 4-count breath with several friends in the healthcare field. They have been using it at work and outside of work and report that it helps calm their body and clear their mind.

Now you may ask, what is this 4-count breath, and will it work. Well friends, I will list the “how to” for the 4-count breath below. As far as will it work? YES, it will work if you’re open to trying it. If you’re closed off to the possibility of breathing and meditation techniques helping, then it won’t help. You, my friend have a choice. You can choose to try something new, to be open to possibility, to embrace a calm state of being…..or you can choose to remain stressed rather than employing tools to make your situation better.  

Box Breathing step-by-step:

Empty your lungs, Inhale over a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, exhale for 4, hold your breath for 4. Repeat for 3-5 minutes.

 A few other methods to help with stress are taking a short walk, repeating a mantra or affirmation such as “I am peace” or “I am calm” 10-15 times. With each inhalation and exhalation silently state your affirmation. If you work in a corporate job or have an office, you can lay down on your sofa with an eye pillow for 5 minutes. You can also lay your forehead on your desk and apply lavender or chamomile oil to your head (third eye center) and sit for 5 minutes. At home you can add lavender or another preferred essential oil to your bath, take a 30-minute walk outside, or listen to a guided meditation.

If you choose to be a yes to yourself, a yes to calm, a yes to peace, then start today; when you began to feel your heart rate quicken or your palms began to sweat, or your thoughts become jumbled, repeat your affirmation silently or aloud, and breathe. Know that you are calm, you are resilient, you are powerful, and you are worthy. Give it a try and let me know how these options help you.

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Comparison is the Thief of Joy

One week ago, I attend the Dirty South Yoga Fest. If you read my prior blog, you already know this. Last week I promised that I would write about my experience and as the week progressed, I felt led to do more than recap my experience. I am going to tell you all about the weekend but there’s more, there’s deeper work, soul searching work that occurred after the festival.

On Friday night, my friend and fellow yoga sister, Rose and I attended the DSYF kick-off party which included yoga, mantra, and music. Ruby Velle, Ziggy Moon, and Charisse Williams have beautiful voices. Their soulful class was a reminder that yoga is more than asana. Yoga off the mat is why I do this work and they reinforced, that I’m on the right path to inspire and help people take yoga into their daily lives. There were several vendors present including the designer of possibility bags, Emily, owner of emilyyellow.com. I bought one of her free spirit crossbody bags at last year’s festival. This year I picked up the SoulMate, and trust it holds all the things. Love this bag! If you have been thinking about getting one of her bags, you won’t regret your purchase. Other vendors present included massage therapist, Bela, Ketel One Botanical, Haven, Doctor D’s (amazing sparkling probiotic beverage…. grape is my favorite), and several local jewelry designers.

 On Saturday I attended 2 power yoga classes and a candlelight Yin class. As much as a I love power, my heart flutters for stillness. The Yin class was led by Laura Clower. It was a great balance to the heat and flow of the power classes. I wanted to attend Yoga Playground with Eazy on Saturday evening but couldn’t attend due to personal obligations. I have yet to make it to one of his classes in Atlanta yet but it is on my list.

Sunday, I started the day with the Queen of Chill, Mrs. Octavia Raheem. Every time I attend Octavia’s class my spirit is moved. She speaks to my soul. Octavia has an aura of peace and tranquility that makes me feel that all is right in this world. If you haven’t had the opportunity to take her class or attend one of her workshops, I implore you to go ahead and sign up. You won’t regret it. After Octavia’s class I attended Core for Inversions with Dominique Davis. Dominique’s class motivated me to return to practicing arm balances and inversions. This week I’ve caught a little hang time in Pinchamayurasa. Don’t get me wrong a little hang time is great, but I have to keep practicing and must maintain the basic foundations and drills that result in holding inversions and arm balance poses. The last class I attended was the SoundEmbrace sound bath. The compilation of gongs, shamanic drums, and the crystal bowls were spiritually and emotionally healing. Sound healing is transformative. The vibrations and sound shift your awareness and perspective of healing from inside out. I have attended several sound baths in the past and was floored by Danielle and her team.

Following the last class of the day there was a wellness bazaar that included vendors, healers, practitioners, and acroyoga. For those that are local to Atlanta I recommend you attend the Dirty South Yoga Fest. You will grow as a practitioner and find a community of yogis that you might not have ever met. I met 5 people that I immediately clicked with and we connected on social media and plan to support each other’s classes and events. Yoga is community. There is a place for us all here.

If you’re still reading here lies the deeper work, the crux of this blog. Throughout the DSYF weekend, yoga teachers, friends, and social media friends repeatedly asked, “Are you teaching this weekend,” “What class are you teaching;” I informed them that I wasn’t teaching any classes. The follow up question was, “Why not.” I didn’t really have an answer. Over this last week, I have mulled over “why not” and I have come to the conclusion that the answer is fear. The fear of no one showing up, fear of comparison to others, fear of not being chosen. Fear will mess with your head and your heart. Fear has no place in my heart nor does it have a place in yours. Fear keeps us stagnant, bound, and trapped. I’m a modest, easy going person. I cheerlead, encourage, and support everyone else; however, I find it difficult to cheer for myself. I wonder why that is. Is it the concept that I’m not enough or that I don’t deserve “this” or perhaps the idea that I should stay quiet rather than speak up?

My friend and yoga teacher, Shelley Lowther (@thisbadasslife on IG) says take up space, be loud. So here I stand ready to take up space, to stand in my power, and be loud. I release fear, I release uncertainty, and I release the act of thinking small. I choose power, I choose peace, and I choose greatness. I choose to step into possibility. I choose to be a YES to Stephanie. I choose to be a YES to all that God and the universe has for me. So, with that being said, this last week I dove head first into expansion and possibility. I have contacted several organizations for collaborative opportunities. I submitted to be a presenter at a yoga festival in another state (I can’t believe I did it). I think what’s hardest about submitting a proposal is the possibility that the answer will be no. I have learned that if I never try, I won’t ever know if there is an option of a yes because I chose fear over possibility.

Earlier this year I submitted to present on yoga and meditation at a runner’s conference and I received a notification that I wasn’t chosen. I wasn’t “in my feelings” about being told no, but I do think that not being chosen slowed my momentum. I began to compare myself to others…. which is never a good idea. I was comparing my mission, physical appearance, teaching style, accomplishments, social media, etc. I was in a training class this spring with Shelley and a group of yogis from around Atlanta when we were having a discussion on a topic (I can’t remember the topic) when she quoted Thomas Jefferson. The quote is “comparison is the thief of joy.” That quote was mind blowing. It was as if I came out of this fog and could finally see clearly. I couldn’t believe that after all that I had done in my life, and all the work I continue to do, that I found myself living in the shadows and letting comparison weigh me down. Comparison is a natural part of life, but I choose not to dwell in it anymore. Now, whenever I begin to compare myself, I repeat “comparison is the thief of joy.” I then let the comparison go and know that I am content (santosha) where I am and know that opportunities to change lives are endless.  Comparison has no place in my heart and neither does fear. I am looking forward to this next year. I don’t know exactly what is to come but I do know that greatness lies ahead.

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What A Yogi Looks Like

This weekend I attended the Dirty South Yoga Festival in Atlanta, GA. This was my second year attending and it was awesome. The teachers, the energy, and the connections that were made with people from around Atlanta were inspiring. I had planned this blog post to be about the DSYF but felt led to write on another topic…..What A Yogi Looks Like. Now don’t worry, I will be writing about the festival later this week, but today’s blog is about a topic that needs to be discussed.

For those who know me well, you know that I’m not one that normally speaks on race, religion, or politics; but I do believe in speaking truth (satya), educating, and standing for what is right. So, you may ask, “Steph, why the blog on what a yogi looks like?” Well my friends let me tell you my “why.” We were on a lunch break from the festival and people were shopping with vendors and going out to the food trucks to relax, chill, chat, and obtain nourishment, when I was privy to a conversation.  

I was sitting on the curb of the parking lot next to 2 young ladies eating my tofu rice bowl, when they begin a normal tone conversation on yoga, physical attributes, etc. The two young women appeared to be in their early 20s, thin/lean build, lululemon apparel, Birkenstock shoes…. most like someone you have seen on a magazine or in a television advertisement for yoga or fitness apparel. Before you say I’m judging on their physique please know that I am not; I have no qualms against thin, lean women or lululemon. I actually bought 3 pair of leggings from lulu last week; and I enjoy working out like anyone else does. I hope that cleared the air before the negative juju was released into the universe.

One of the 2 ladies recently finished yoga teacher training (YTT) and is a spin instructor. She reports to the friend that she has to keep teaching spin because she has to be “in shape” to be a yoga teacher. That statement caused me to look up but then I shook my head and went back to my rice bowl. The conversation continued, and the yoga teacher stated she can only attend classes with “strong teachers” that can achieve certain poses (asana) and that students want to “do what the teacher does.” Now, you know I looked up and over, thinking to myself, what is going on here, where did you go to YTT, and why do you feel this way? I shook my head again and thought maybe I’m not hearing this correctly, so I just kept eating, minding my business and they continued to chat. The yoga teacher then proceeded to repeat that yoga students want to be in shape, take classes from fit yoga teachers, and achieve advanced yoga poses. Once again, I looked over to them and shook my head. I wanted to say something, but I think my throat chakra might have been blocked because I did not have words to express how disheartening this conversation was and how uninformed the ladies were regarding what student’s desire and about the overall practice of yoga. I disposed of my lunch and walked away.

The conversation between these women perpetuates the Western idea of yoga. That conversation, those words that were spoken, they sat on my heart and I had to say something. I had to speak out and on what yoga is and what a yogi looks like; so, this blog is me speaking my truth…it’s what I wish I would have said to the young ladies. Yoga is the union of the mind, body, and spirit. We are all connected on a higher level. Race, culture, politics, and socioeconomic status may divide us as a people, but the practice of unity, the practice of yoga brings us together. Yoga is more than asana; yoga is greater than the physical poses. Yoga doesn’t care about what you look like on the outside; it’s about your soul, your spirit, the deeper parts of you. Yoga is not a workout but a work-in. The daily activity of truthfulness, charity, kindness, non-violence, and gratitude are all yoga. Sitting with self in meditation, breathing, and shifting your awareness inward is yoga. You DO NOT have to be young, female, thin, muscular, or flexible to do yoga. You NEVER have to hold chair pose, plank pose, or downward dog to do yoga. You do have to treat yourself and others with love. That my friend is yoga.

 So, I ask you, what does a yogi look like? A yogi looks like you. Go in the bathroom, turn on the light, and look in the mirror. I invite you to look from the inside out, and you will see what I see: Love, Light, Peace, and Joy.

A yogi can be tall, short, thin, wide, brown, white, black, red, or yellow. A yogi can be male, female, non binary, young, middle aged, or older. A yogi can be a paraplegic or quadriplegic. Anyone can do yoga if they choose. Yoga is about so much more than the physical poses. My hope is that this message will reach you and you will see that the work you do off your mat is true yoga. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. You are yoga, I am yoga, we are yoga.

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Asheville Yoga Festival 2019

I attended the Asheville Yoga Festival (AYF) for the first time this past weekend. I traveled up to Asheville, NC on Thursday July 25, 2019. I attended 3 days of festival activities 7/26-2/28. This weekend, I was held, supported, and empowered. I gleaned more knowledge as an instructor and as a student. I attended the festival solo….by myself…without friends…alone. Have you ever gone to an event alone? I have, and at first it may feel odd, but if you open your mind and heart to the possibility of new experiences, growing individually, and meeting new people you will feel calm and at peace with being alone.

I must say, I initially had hoped that some of my yoga sisters would have been able to attend but unfortunately their schedules did not allow for them to make it. Although I physically attended the festival alone, I was not truly alone or lonely. Yogis from across the world came together in the spirit of community and unification. I met several students and studio owners from the southeast that I was able to connect with, exchange contact information, discuss opportunities to visit and collaborate on ventures that support each other’s mission.

Classes were taught by a number of amazing teachers. I was led in this practice by Chelsea Jackson Rogers, Tracee Stanley, Octavia Raheem, J Miles, Guillermo Gomez, MC Yogi & DJ Drez, Rosie Green Mulford, Adam Whiting, and Tara Eschenroeder. In ten years of yoga practice, I have only taken one yoga class with a male. It was an amazing experience to be able to take 4 different classes with a diverse group of men. Inversions with J Miles, Vinyasa with Mc Yogi, Aikido with Guillermo, and Yin with Adam were the bomb. They taught from physical and spiritual backgrounds that were energizing and enlightening. The men and women leading classes gave insight from different world experiences, which gave me the ability to receive and feel their classes on a deeper level. Chelsea, Tracee, and Octavia spoke to my spirit during their classes. I was guided in flow, rest, and meditation. Their words, teaching style, and ability to share empowered me while permitting me to relax, restore, and heal my soul. I felt strong and free in Rosie and Tara’s classes. I took my physical practice to new heights; which overflows into my practice of yoga off the mat. The Bhagavad Gita says, “Yoga is a journey of the self, to the self, and through the self.” I must say over the last 10 years I have steadily evolved; experienced highs and lows of practice and remain steadfast in this journey.  

The Asheville Yoga Festival had teachers from around the world, vendors from California to New York, community yoga with donations to support a local non-profit, and opportunities to go out in nature and practice yoga. There was SUP yoga, hiking, meditation in salt caves, and more. The next time I attend this festival I will definitely choose to do more. If you have not visited Asheville or attended the yoga festival, I recommend that you do. Choose to go somewhere new, experience change, and allow your mind and spirit to be open.

I am still in Asheville; I am staying several more days and will hike, cycle, ride down the river, explore and connect with mother earth. I get to experience the sun rising, the lush green of the mountains, the cool streams, the sounds of the birds, and I revel in it. I am thankful for this time to ground, to be rooted and connected with self. It allows me to realize my why; why I do this work, why I serve, and why I am on this yogic journey. What is your why?

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