2020 has been a beast. I thought 2019 was crazy, but OMG 2020 came in hot and it’s gotten hotter. COVID-19, cultural appropriation, protests, riots, killing of transgender people, loss of jobs, social distancing, quarantine, and the loss of communication and connection with friends and family--are just a few of the things we have all had to manage.

I know that you have been impacted by so much this year. Sadness, anger, grief, and anxiety are just a few words that many people have shared with me regarding how they have felt throughout the year.

I imagine this year has been difficult to navigate emotionally and physically. I have a few questions for you: how are you managing it all? How are you protecting your peace? Have you been able to connect with friends and family from a distance? If you haven’t now is the time. Choose today rather than waiting until tomorrow. Day 1>one day.

I shared with you a few weeks ago that I had a zoom girl’s night with some of my closest friends this summer. It was great. We have a group text feed that has been an essential way we have communicated.

I have been trying to consistently check in via text and telephone with friends and family to let my people know they are not alone. In this season of social distancing, quarantine, and loss it is easy to feel alone and that you have to do it all. I know you are STRONG, CAPABLE, and INDEPENDENT.

But friend remember, you DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL. You can take time to for you. It’s okay to step back and ask for help. Call or text a friend and let them know you need a listening ear or some extra support.

This past week in our Goal Setting Roadmap to Success program we talked about support systems and accountability. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a “support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.” A support system for this journey of life is a requirement. Support goes beyond working toward a goal. Support is needed to make it through the trials of life. Support is needed to combat the loneliness of quarantine.

My friend you cannot do life alone. When you are seeking freedom from sadness, guilt, and loss, you need a person or your people. Although, I am one of the “strong friends” I too feel sad on occasion and need up lifting.

I am so blessed to have people who check on me and send me prayers and positive thoughts. I called a friend of mine this week and just shared with her how I was feeling down. I didn’t need her to do anything but just to be there. And guess what, that’s just what she did. She listened and held space for me. It was cathartic and the perfect reminder that we all need support.

Friend if you haven’t checked in on your people in a while because life is busy, take a moment to send a quick text or call. If you need a little extra support let go of fear, let go of idea of judgement, and let your person know you need them.

Remember you cannot do life alone. We rise by lifting each other up. Know that I’m here for you too. We can chat over tea via zoom or skype if you need.

Sending peace and light during the storm.

Guess what, I get anxious and nervous. Yes, me Stephanie, the yoga studio owner, the nurse practitioner, the professor, the healer. I am a light worker and feelings of anxiety and apprehension arise. My palms become wet, I began to sweat, and my heart rate rises. Are you surprised? If so, don’t be. We all get nervous in life; but what matters is how we respond. What matters is our coping mechanisms. How often do you feel anxious or nervous? What tools do you use to help?

About a month ago, I was involved in a car accident. My daughter and mother were passengers in the vehicle. This accident occurred less than a mile from my home…..not surprising as research says most accidents occur less than 5 miles from peoples’ homes. Let me tell you a brief overview of what happened.

I was driving home from having lunch with my mother and daughter. We were going through the green light when someone turned left rather than waiting. I slammed on brakes but there was nothing I could do to avoid the collision. The airbags deployed, my car was smoking, and I completely lost my breath for a moment. Then I realized Steph, get out of the car, get your family out of this car. I looked over to my mom and asked if she was okay. She said she thinks so, but she was hit in the head by the air bag. I took a deep breath and I heard my daughter crying. My mother said, Stephanie the car was smoking. I moved into action. I unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the car and hurriedly got my daughter out of her car seat. We went stand on the curb and 3 angels appeared. A couple in a truck were calling the police and asking if we were okay. Another lady was present saying she saw the accident and asking how she could help.

I was holding my three-year-old, she was so upset that’s she was crying uncontrollably. I held her and tried to comfort and told her that everything was going to be okay. She began to settle, and her cries were gentler. My mother was standing next to me and said, Steph your hand. I look down and the skin was off a portion of my right hand and wrist. There were others areas that were black and burned. I looked over to my left hand and there was a small burn there a well. I didn’t realize I was hurt but when I did the pain began. My hand began to feel as if it were burning from the inside out.

The fireman and paramedics arrived. They took me to the ambulance, treated my wound, and educated me on the airbag burn. I tried to listen to what they were saying but the pain was so severe. Other than childbirth I had never experienced such pain in my life. The first responders assessed my vital signs and as you would suspect my blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates were elevated. Often times in acute (new) pain this occurs. I tried to relax, and the heat just kept building. The paramedics tried to wrap my hand, but the pain intensified. It was as if the bandage trapped the heat inside my hand and I told the gentleman “you got to take this off. You’re making it worse.” He proceeded to remove the wrap and the pain decreased. His team gave me wound supplies but suggested I go to the pharmacy for other materials. I work in healthcare and I know how crazy the ER can be, so I took the paramedics advice in regard to home treatment versus going to the ER. My daughter and mother were assessed as well. My mother had called my husband by this time. He had arrived, and we all left.

We proceeded to the local pharmacy less than .2 miles away. I stepped out of the car and the fire of hell sensation returned to my hand. I could literally feel my heart rate rising and my heart beating in my chest. I became short of breath and felt like I wasn’t going to make it into the store. My husband had already got my daughter out of the car. She looked at me and said “mommy, stay calm and breathe.”

That statement was the most profound words I could have heard in that moment. I looked at her and said, “thank you.” Stay calm and breathe was exactly what I needed to do to help myself relax and find a way to manage my pain and control my breathing. You may be asking yourself did it help, and the answer is YES. Focusing on my breath and clearing my mind helped me control my breathing and better tolerate the pain.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing doctor’s, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants for this burn. The treatment plan is working, my hand is getting better. I should hopefully be out of the wrap in the next week or so.

Beyond the plan of care from the healthcare personnel, what has been most helpful in my healing process is my daughters voice saying, “stay calm and breathe.” When life throws you a curve ball, when you feel anxious, pain, or completely unsure of what to do, I invite you to breathe. Close your eyes, allow your shoulders to fall away from your ears, and began to inhale and exhale slowly. Let your lungs fully inflate and deflate. Feel a since a calm wash over you. Know that you are okay. You will be okay. If mantras or affirmations resonate with your spirit, silently say to yourself, “I am calm, I am calm, I am calm.”

Stay Calm and Breathe.

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