Stay Calm and Breathe: Words from a 3 year old

Guess what, I get anxious and nervous. Yes, me Stephanie, the yoga studio owner, the nurse practitioner, the professor, the healer. I am a light worker and feelings of anxiety and apprehension arise. My palms become wet, I began to sweat, and my heart rate rises. Are you surprised? If so, don’t be. We all get nervous in life; but what matters is how we respond. What matters is our coping mechanisms. How often do you feel anxious or nervous? What tools do you use to help?

About a month ago, I was involved in a car accident. My daughter and mother were passengers in the vehicle. This accident occurred less than a mile from my home…..not surprising as research says most accidents occur less than 5 miles from peoples’ homes. Let me tell you a brief overview of what happened.

I was driving home from having lunch with my mother and daughter. We were going through the green light when someone turned left rather than waiting. I slammed on brakes but there was nothing I could do to avoid the collision. The airbags deployed, my car was smoking, and I completely lost my breath for a moment. Then I realized Steph, get out of the car, get your family out of this car. I looked over to my mom and asked if she was okay. She said she thinks so, but she was hit in the head by the air bag. I took a deep breath and I heard my daughter crying. My mother said, Stephanie the car was smoking. I moved into action. I unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the car and hurriedly got my daughter out of her car seat. We went stand on the curb and 3 angels appeared. A couple in a truck were calling the police and asking if we were okay. Another lady was present saying she saw the accident and asking how she could help.

I was holding my three-year-old, she was so upset that’s she was crying uncontrollably. I held her and tried to comfort and told her that everything was going to be okay. She began to settle, and her cries were gentler. My mother was standing next to me and said, Steph your hand. I look down and the skin was off a portion of my right hand and wrist. There were others areas that were black and burned. I looked over to my left hand and there was a small burn there a well. I didn’t realize I was hurt but when I did the pain began. My hand began to feel as if it were burning from the inside out.

The fireman and paramedics arrived. They took me to the ambulance, treated my wound, and educated me on the airbag burn. I tried to listen to what they were saying but the pain was so severe. Other than childbirth I had never experienced such pain in my life. The first responders assessed my vital signs and as you would suspect my blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates were elevated. Often times in acute (new) pain this occurs. I tried to relax, and the heat just kept building. The paramedics tried to wrap my hand, but the pain intensified. It was as if the bandage trapped the heat inside my hand and I told the gentleman “you got to take this off. You’re making it worse.” He proceeded to remove the wrap and the pain decreased. His team gave me wound supplies but suggested I go to the pharmacy for other materials. I work in healthcare and I know how crazy the ER can be, so I took the paramedics advice in regard to home treatment versus going to the ER.  My daughter and mother were assessed as well. My mother had called my husband by this time. He had arrived, and we all left.

We proceeded to the local pharmacy less than .2 miles away. I stepped out of the car and the fire of hell sensation returned to my hand. I could literally feel my heart rate rising and my heart beating in my chest. I became short of breath and felt like I wasn’t going to make it into the store. My husband had already got my daughter out of the car. She looked at me and said “mommy, stay calm and breathe.”

That statement was the most profound words I could have heard in that moment. I looked at her and said, “thank you.” Stay calm and breathe was exactly what I needed to do to help myself relax and find a way to manage my pain and control my breathing.  You may be asking yourself did it help, and the answer is YES. Focusing on my breath and clearing my mind helped me control my breathing and better tolerate the pain.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing doctor’s, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants for this burn. The treatment plan is working, my hand is getting better. I should hopefully be out of the wrap in the next week or so.  

Beyond the plan of care from the healthcare personnel, what has been most helpful in my healing process is my daughters voice saying, “stay calm and breathe.” When life throws you a curve ball, when you feel anxious, pain, or completely unsure of what to do, I invite you to breathe. Close your eyes, allow your shoulders to fall away from your ears, and began to inhale and exhale slowly. Let your lungs fully inflate and deflate. Feel a since a calm wash over you. Know that you are okay. You will be okay. If mantras or affirmations resonate with your spirit, silently say to yourself, “I am calm, I am calm, I am calm.”

Stay Calm and Breathe.

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Heart Racing, Short of Breath, Stressed, & Anxious…..Tips to Relax and Find Calm

Do you have a high stress career? Do you have a stressful home life? If so, you may identify with my past experiences working full-time in a high stress job. You likely can use a few “tools” to add to your coping toolbox.  I used to work for my healthcare organization full-time; but a few years ago, I transitioned to PRN (as needed). Transitioning to PRN is much more manageable and has increased my enjoyment, satisfaction, and love for the job. I now work one day a week and pick up extra days and call to help out the team. Working 60 hours a week and taking call five, 24-hour call days a month in a level one trauma center was overwhelming, and it prevented be from being my best self. My spouse is a blessing and he always gives 100% at home and at work. His support made home life much better) but I still felt overwhelmed at home because of all the things I couldn’t do, because I didn’t energy or the desire after leaving work …it’s hard to have it all (wife, mother, career, etc). The goal of this blog is to share some techniques to help manage stress and allow your mind and body to relax.

Today is August 26th. It is the end of the month and I have taken 4 call days this month. I haven’t taken call in over 4 months and it was a shock to be back “in the trenches”. As an NP in my organization, call encompasses receiving in-patient and ER consults from a 600+ bed hospital, transfers from outside hospitals that need a higher level of care and consults on trauma patients. In addition, I have to answer nursing calls about patients, assist in surgery, and perform other procedures. It is a very rewarding job, but also very stressful and often times sad or emotionally draining. It’s a choice to work in healthcare. It is a choice to give selflessly and I love it. However, it in the past it has challenged my physical and emotional abilities to withstand the demand, the stress, and the loss of patients. This career has limited my availability for my family and ability to pour energy into others after being on call and working so many hours.

When I was full time at my organization and was on call 5 or more times per month, I felt depleted, drained, and utterly blank when it was over. Working PRN and incorporating yoga and meditation has improved my life and my overall well-being at work and outside of work. I have learned to manage the stress and to breathe through the overwhelming situations. This allows me to be level headed and feel a state of calm. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t look forward to being on call now. However, I have learned to use principles from yoga and pranayama (breathing techniques) to manage feelings of stress.

 I have several friends and colleagues who also work in healthcare and high stress jobs including the military and first responders. They have repeatedly told me they experience tachycardia (elevated heart rate), anxiety, and shortness of breath in their jobs. I have shared several breathing techniques with my friends to help manage the feelings of dread, stress, and anxiety.  Box breathing is my pranayama of choice when I am 10 consults in and still have many hours remaining of call. I have shared box breathing AKA 4-count breath with several friends in the healthcare field. They have been using it at work and outside of work and report that it helps calm their body and clear their mind.

Now you may ask, what is this 4-count breath, and will it work. Well friends, I will list the “how to” for the 4-count breath below. As far as will it work? YES, it will work if you’re open to trying it. If you’re closed off to the possibility of breathing and meditation techniques helping, then it won’t help. You, my friend have a choice. You can choose to try something new, to be open to possibility, to embrace a calm state of being…..or you can choose to remain stressed rather than employing tools to make your situation better.  

Box Breathing step-by-step:

Empty your lungs, Inhale over a count of 4, hold your breath for 4, exhale for 4, hold your breath for 4. Repeat for 3-5 minutes.

 A few other methods to help with stress are taking a short walk, repeating a mantra or affirmation such as “I am peace” or “I am calm” 10-15 times. With each inhalation and exhalation silently state your affirmation. If you work in a corporate job or have an office, you can lay down on your sofa with an eye pillow for 5 minutes. You can also lay your forehead on your desk and apply lavender or chamomile oil to your head (third eye center) and sit for 5 minutes. At home you can add lavender or another preferred essential oil to your bath, take a 30-minute walk outside, or listen to a guided meditation.

If you choose to be a yes to yourself, a yes to calm, a yes to peace, then start today; when you began to feel your heart rate quicken or your palms began to sweat, or your thoughts become jumbled, repeat your affirmation silently or aloud, and breathe. Know that you are calm, you are resilient, you are powerful, and you are worthy. Give it a try and let me know how these options help you.

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