SELF CARE: I Converted My Laundry Room into My Zen Den

Hey Fam!

I’m a wife, working mom, and small business owner. I pour my time and energy into other people every day—my family, my patients, my students, and my yoga clients. When I get home from a long day I want to chill out and do nothing. Sound familiar? Do you also make time for everyone else but don’t have time for you?

 Well fam, let me tell you—in my house everyone has a space to relax and enjoy; princess has a play room (it used to be my reading nook) and my husband has a billiards room. I felt that I didn’t have a space for myself—a place just for me to breathe and be. So, over the last few months I felt the need to design a child free, spouse free area for myself.

The Zen Den has been in my heart and on my mind for a while. I wanted my own oasis of peace; somewhere I could go to chill and relax alone. On Mother’s Day 2020, The Zen Den came to exist.

My Zen Den is a laundry room conversion……well actually the washer and dryer are still in the space but my hubby helped me remove all the clutter and storage, and organize and design the area to fit my needs. The Zen Den isn’t fancy or something off of HGTV, but it is perfect for me.

I have my spin bike set up, ceiling fans, my yoga mat, cushions, blankets, my singing bowls, drum, ukulele, and some of my plant babies in one space. Over the last four weeks I have been able to relax, exercise, and work on growing my small business in the Zen Den. 

I told my husband and daughter that when the door to the Zen Den is closed that no one can enter unless it is an emergency (lol…yep I sure did). This is called self-care and protecting my peace. Friend, you too can tell your family or friends you need space. It is not selfish to put your needs first. It is not selfish to acknowledge that you need to refill your cup. It is not selfish to relax or relish in some alone time.

Once you realize that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s, you can let go of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty regarding your self-care needs. You deserve some time for you. You deserve peace. You deserve rest. You deserve restoration. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

I implore you to find a self-care regimen and release any guilt that arises regarding your needs. You are important. You are worthy. You are deserving. 

Sending virtual hugs,

Stephanie

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Stay Calm and Breathe: Words from a 3 year old

Guess what, I get anxious and nervous. Yes, me Stephanie, the yoga studio owner, the nurse practitioner, the professor, the healer. I am a light worker and feelings of anxiety and apprehension arise. My palms become wet, I began to sweat, and my heart rate rises. Are you surprised? If so, don’t be. We all get nervous in life; but what matters is how we respond. What matters is our coping mechanisms. How often do you feel anxious or nervous? What tools do you use to help?

About a month ago, I was involved in a car accident. My daughter and mother were passengers in the vehicle. This accident occurred less than a mile from my home…..not surprising as research says most accidents occur less than 5 miles from peoples’ homes. Let me tell you a brief overview of what happened.

I was driving home from having lunch with my mother and daughter. We were going through the green light when someone turned left rather than waiting. I slammed on brakes but there was nothing I could do to avoid the collision. The airbags deployed, my car was smoking, and I completely lost my breath for a moment. Then I realized Steph, get out of the car, get your family out of this car. I looked over to my mom and asked if she was okay. She said she thinks so, but she was hit in the head by the air bag. I took a deep breath and I heard my daughter crying. My mother said, Stephanie the car was smoking. I moved into action. I unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the car and hurriedly got my daughter out of her car seat. We went stand on the curb and 3 angels appeared. A couple in a truck were calling the police and asking if we were okay. Another lady was present saying she saw the accident and asking how she could help.

I was holding my three-year-old, she was so upset that’s she was crying uncontrollably. I held her and tried to comfort and told her that everything was going to be okay. She began to settle, and her cries were gentler. My mother was standing next to me and said, Steph your hand. I look down and the skin was off a portion of my right hand and wrist. There were others areas that were black and burned. I looked over to my left hand and there was a small burn there a well. I didn’t realize I was hurt but when I did the pain began. My hand began to feel as if it were burning from the inside out.

The fireman and paramedics arrived. They took me to the ambulance, treated my wound, and educated me on the airbag burn. I tried to listen to what they were saying but the pain was so severe. Other than childbirth I had never experienced such pain in my life. The first responders assessed my vital signs and as you would suspect my blood pressure, heart rate, and respiratory rates were elevated. Often times in acute (new) pain this occurs. I tried to relax, and the heat just kept building. The paramedics tried to wrap my hand, but the pain intensified. It was as if the bandage trapped the heat inside my hand and I told the gentleman “you got to take this off. You’re making it worse.” He proceeded to remove the wrap and the pain decreased. His team gave me wound supplies but suggested I go to the pharmacy for other materials. I work in healthcare and I know how crazy the ER can be, so I took the paramedics advice in regard to home treatment versus going to the ER.  My daughter and mother were assessed as well. My mother had called my husband by this time. He had arrived, and we all left.

We proceeded to the local pharmacy less than .2 miles away. I stepped out of the car and the fire of hell sensation returned to my hand. I could literally feel my heart rate rising and my heart beating in my chest. I became short of breath and felt like I wasn’t going to make it into the store. My husband had already got my daughter out of the car. She looked at me and said “mommy, stay calm and breathe.”

That statement was the most profound words I could have heard in that moment. I looked at her and said, “thank you.” Stay calm and breathe was exactly what I needed to do to help myself relax and find a way to manage my pain and control my breathing.  You may be asking yourself did it help, and the answer is YES. Focusing on my breath and clearing my mind helped me control my breathing and better tolerate the pain.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing doctor’s, nurse practitioners, and physician assistants for this burn. The treatment plan is working, my hand is getting better. I should hopefully be out of the wrap in the next week or so.  

Beyond the plan of care from the healthcare personnel, what has been most helpful in my healing process is my daughters voice saying, “stay calm and breathe.” When life throws you a curve ball, when you feel anxious, pain, or completely unsure of what to do, I invite you to breathe. Close your eyes, allow your shoulders to fall away from your ears, and began to inhale and exhale slowly. Let your lungs fully inflate and deflate. Feel a since a calm wash over you. Know that you are okay. You will be okay. If mantras or affirmations resonate with your spirit, silently say to yourself, “I am calm, I am calm, I am calm.”

Stay Calm and Breathe.

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